Comments on: Important Public Service Announcement

By: david tiley

david tiley — Sat, 03 May 2008 06:33:55 +0000

Residents of Toorak were discovered early this morning wandering in confused hordes through South Yarra, heading for the river, marshalled forwards by a legion of zombies chanting “margin call”…. same rhetorical trope, same junk.

By: Fleeced

Fleeced — Fri, 02 May 2008 11:10:39 +0000

Hey bro, stop dissin’ the Druitt!

By: gilmae

gilmae — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:35:15 +0000

Oh, I’ve been on a few corporate networks in my time. I can assure you, the luvvies and the unicorns and the competent marketing girls have passed this one around the exchange server more times than I’ve had Elvis around for a cheese-and-methamphetamine-burger dinner.

By: FDB

FDB — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:24:30 +0000

So…

Who wrote it?

By: John Greenfield

John Greenfield — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:56:51 +0000

gilmae

Indeed. But surely we are obliged to share the joy with The Luvvies, who otherwise are denied such insights?

By: gilmae

gilmae — Fri, 02 May 2008 05:14:52 +0000

Maybe the first few times it got trotted out, John. I can almost recite it from heart by now though.

By: John Greenfield

John Greenfield — Fri, 02 May 2008 04:33:50 +0000

Oh come on Darlene you old bogan Westie, don’t tell me you didn’t let out just a wee chortle.

By: Ken Parish

Ken Parish — Fri, 02 May 2008 03:59:14 +0000

I wonder if Greenfield lives in Balmain.

By: Darlene

Darlene — Fri, 02 May 2008 03:18:49 +0000

Greenfield, you elitist snob, you…………………….LUVVVIE.

By: John Greenfield

John Greenfield — Fri, 02 May 2008 02:14:28 +0000

I wonder how many girls from Mt. Druitt are auditioning?

Hurricane Shazza hit Mt Druitt in the early hours of Monday 17th March 2008.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering ‘Faaackinell’.

The hurricane devastated the area causing approximately $30 worth of damage. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.many locals were woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived. Mt. Druitt Times reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Mt Druitt..

One resident - Tracy Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said

It was such a shock, my little daughter Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Joachim and River slept through it all.

Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards, Jewellery from Kmart, and Bone China from Big W.

HOW CAN YOU HELP???

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after the items most needed include: flannelette shirts, tight blue jeans or spandex, singlets (blue & white) white sport socks, Ugg boots and any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, Baked Beans,Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks. Donations of $15.00 will be taken to buy a packet of winny blue 25s and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news** Mt Druitt Uniting Church has cancelled their local ‘Nativity Display’ due to their inability to find three wise men or a virgin.

Please don’t forward this to anyone living in Mt Druitt - oh, stuff it, they won’t be able to read it, anyway !!!

By: Jacques Chester

Jacques Chester — Fri, 02 May 2008 02:04:36 +0000

I might also mention out of the glare of the main article that it’s a perfect show: lots of glamazons to perve on and constant unintentional hilarity.