Apropos Ken’s article on the Evatt Foundation site (contributors to TA are required by our verbal contracts, you know the one’s not worth the paper they’re not written on, to shamelessly promote the chief Armadillo’s work), it’s pleasant to see the toothless revolutionary deliver another of his eloquent essays, this time it’s about religious instruction in his school.
I had to look up the word ‘garrulous’ in the dictionary to ensure that I chose a word that adequately describes the writing. And the second definition, ‘loquacious – fond of talking’, did at first fit the bill. But on reflection, perhaps I should have chosen another, more descriptive word, articulate; perceptive; how would you describe the following;
The promised UFO expert turned up the following week; he was perhaps a few years older than the Reverend Donald. He was more than happy to share his UFO theory of everything with us, but he didn’t make much headway. His credibility was sadly undermined by the dishevelment of his grooming and dress; in contrast to the Reverend Donald’s impeccably pressed and buttoned up three piece mid-gray suit, Bill the UFO bloke’s suit had obviously not seen an iron in several years, his shirt tail appeared to have a claustrophobic aversion to the inside of his trousers and his shirt appeared to be short of enough buttons to hide his singlet.
Some students, a little more observant than I noticed that his trousers also suffered a shortage of fly buttons as well, but no-one missed the fact that he had made a mess of buttoning on his braces. His ideas turned out to be as disarrayed as his appearance so, while the Reverend Donald’s stern gaze was sufficient to keep the giggling of the second formers to a more or less courteous level during Bill’s speech, after the bell rang for the next class, there was an eruption of hilarity as we walked from the hall back to the main school buildings.
While we have gems such as these appearing regularly it would seem to me that, notwithstanding the necessity for ‘monitorial citizens’, the success of Ozblogistan is guaranteed.
Better paragraphed than the original, but faithfully reproducing the redundant “as well” after the “also”. So much for DIY editing: Ken’s absolutely right when he says that a lot of blogs would be better for a little attention from a good editor. Writers who edit themselves are a lot like those fabled lawyers, it seems.