CNNNN tonight had a hilarious episode in which the immutable backbencher Alan Cadman challenged for the Liberal leadership, which is an amusing enough as a stand-alone scenario. In a wonderful parody of the navel-gazing speculations of the press gallery, Cadman entered the picture unable to provide a precise definition of Peter Costello’s famous ‘tolerance’ comment – a single sentence that inspired kilometres of pundit interpretation in broadsheet columns.
Cadman a backbencher for almost all of his 29-years has a rather modest record on federal politics, as Crikey’s Hillary Bray suggests: “you might need laser surveying equipment to discern Cadman’s profile at a national level.” However, many an ambitious Lib has attempted and failed to usurp Cadman from his seat – Cadman’s ties to the Bible Belt repeatedly keeping him in the House of Reps.
As the mysterious Bray notes: “Cadman’s support base … comes from the congregation of the Redeemer Baptist Church – who have fought so successfully against pubs in the area that thirsty locals have to search through an industrial estate to find the Castle Hill Tavern or brave the traffic of Old Northern Road to stop by the Hillside Tavern – and those Good Weekend cover girls and boys at Hillsong, who draw thousands and take a million plus collection plate each Sunday.” (Anyone who missed Greg Bearup’s profile of Hillsong in the Good Weekend missed out on one of the funniest pieces of investigative reporting in a long time.)
This had me wondering which Liberal and Labor backbenchers would make the most unappealing electoral contest possible. Alan Cadman vs Frank Mossfield, Trish Draper vs Kim Wilkie; its almost enough to make you vote informal. So I’m going to ask a question with a multitude of answers, who are the most incompetent back-benchers in Federal Parliament?
Harry Jenkins (ALP, Scullin). I can’t work out why they put him in one of the safest seats in the country (held by over 20%). Well at least they named a park after him (or was that his father?).
Actually I just remembered that he is deputy assistant shadow deputy (2nd in charge) (on Mondays and Tuesdays) of the HoR.
Michael Hatton (ALP, Blaxland). Imposed on Blaxland by PJK, in a particularly filthy pre-selection, as a “reward” for running the Blaxland electorate office over the last 11 years of PJK’s 27 year tenure. A complete non-entity who would have had trouble being elected to anything without patronage.
Senator Santoro.
Oh Gummo, how could I forget ‘Santa’ Santoro. I hope Herron’s enjoying his relaxing gig in Ireland
Cadman Walks On Water… Again.
The Hills are alive with the sound of thumping heads and rusty plier teeth pulling of votes in the lead up to the preselection battle being waged by that God wag and CNNNN media personality, Alan Cadman MP for the seat of Mitchell.
If Coles Myer keep the Mayor and GM of Baulkham Hills in their pocket which we are sure is not the case heaven and hell forbid, then a massive booze shop the size of an old BBC hardware store will be a reality with an off licence to boot.
Let’s see what happens at the secret Delegated Authority Meetings over Christmas… usually held for ‘urgent’ matters.
So, I suppose the ability to get a drink at one of the busiest intersections in the Hills will be a reality especially after the suplanting of Grace Brothers by the Coles Myer empire.
Bye bye from the Blogsman for now.