A 10 year old girl is mauled by a croc in a billabong at Patonga in Kakadu and where do I read about it? In The Australian breaking news! What has become of the Northern Territory News? Surely that publication’s sole raison d’etre is to record the table d’hote proclivities of resident reptiles – a bit like the social pages of the SMH……but all they can come up with is a brave burger buyer tackling a drunken knife-wielder in Maccas in Darwin and some mentally-ill person who has apparently been sitting in a jail cell in Alice Springs awaiting Mental Health Team intervention since 1996. Priorities, priorities….
Readers will be pleased to hear that the little girl is doing OK and isn’t seriously injured. Not so the croc. It’s dead in fact. Rangers found a 2.13 specimen sitting on a sandbank adjacent to the scene of the crime, convened a properly-constituted court, examined the evidence, found the reptile guilty and sentenced it to death. ” We could tell it was the perpetrator by it’s class” explained Kakadu Crocs bloke Garry Lindner.
I wonder what class it was? Maybe an evil upper-class twit, twirling it’s crocodilan moustache and laughing maniacally like the Joker in the Batman movie? Or a spliff-smoking verbally-challenged loser, sniffing glue and doing bad Rap? I await tomorrow’s NT News for the details….