In Other News, Gareth Parker is No Longer A Child Prodigy.

Perth uberblogger, Gareth Parker, turns 21 today. Run on over and cheer him up with predictions as to how long it’ll be before he goes bald, and stuff.

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Ken Parish
Ken Parish
2022 years ago

It’s my birthday today too. Only it’s 50 not 21. I can’t even remember my 21st; those were the days when any self-respecting uni student was an enthusiastic abuser of hallucinogenic substances. These days I confine myself to respectable red wine, and I’m going out for a long lunch followed by a family dinner to dull the pain of the slippery slope.

Gareth Parker
Gareth Parker
2022 years ago

Hi, Gareth, my name is also Gareth Parker. Don’t listen to that other guy, red wine is disgusting. You should start to drink vodka, sure it might not taste too good, but you’ll get so pissed you won’t care that you’re 21, and that you’ll die off old age in a few years. I’m 24 and I’ve drunk so much vodka that even if I don’t die from old age, I’ll probably die from alcohol poisoning. Hey, if you’re lucky you will live to be 90 and be happy every day off your life. Sure you might go bald, become impotent and spent the next 69 years wishing someone would put you out off your misery, but who cares? With a name like ours we can’t go wrong. Happy Birthday, Gareth Parker