Alex and Keysar and Omar Khayyam

“The Moving Finger writes, and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

Omar Khayyam

When Alexander Downer bustles forth in fresh viyella shirt and blue blazer, on a Sunday morning, something’s up. And so it was.

Sheik Taj El Din Al Hilaly, Imam of the Lakemba Mosque, Mufti of Australia had flown momentarily free of the omnipresence of his impressively articulate minder, Keysar Trad, and turned up – Tradless – in Sidon, Lebanon whence he addressed the faithful.

According to a transcript provided by the Australian embassy in Beirut, published by the Sun Herald, the Imam offered – inter-alia that : “September 11 is God’s work against oppressors. Some of the things that happen in the world cannot be explained; a civilian airplane whose secrets cannot be explained, if we ask its pilot who reached his objective without error: ‘Who led your steps?’

“Or if we ask the giant that fell: ‘Who humiliated you?’ Or if we ask the president: ‘Who made you cry?’ God is the answer!”

Sheik Al Hilaly spoke of an “Islamic revolution”, and told his audience not to be surprised if one day a muezzin called out “Allah is Great!” from the “top of the White House”

He also declared that there was a “war on infidels” around the world, the Mufti praised the boy who, “despite his mother’s objections”, went to war to become a martyr.

Bemoaning the lack of “real men” in the Arab world, he said the “true boy” was one who told his mother not to cry for him if he died. The boy who cried: “Oh mother, jihad has been imposed on me and I want to become a martyr [was a son of Islam].” The boy would cry to his mother: “Oh mother, I’m going with a stone in my hand to become a martyr.”

You can imagine Keysar’s consternation, stuck back in Sydney while the Australian Embassy inevitably “took it out of context” – which I’m assuming is something like, “not meant for distribution in Australia” – and Alex huffed in Adelaide.

Keysar was able to assure the Sun Herald that he’d phoned the perambulating Imam – now in Cairo – to tell him what he’d actually said. Or perhaps, to find out what he’d said? Whatever.

Relief! The Imam was merely utilising a poetic allusion, was opposed to violence in all it’s forms and would beat any aspirant for Ms Universe anyday (with the added plus of being much more modestly attired, praise Allah) in his yearning for World Peace. “It was a harmless poem about a boy throwing stones” Keysar assured us. “It’s all been taken out of context.” Of course.

Your Keysar! Don’t leave home without it!

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.
3 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
David Tiley
2022 years ago

He truly makes it hard for moderate Muslims in Australia. Can’t they get rid of him?

Geoff Honnor
Geoff Honnor
2022 years ago

Keysar continually assures us that Sheik Al is the moderate voice of Islam. And despite the fact that Alan Jones was squawking about his “moderation” a couple of months back, who knows? The thing I was a bit concerned at was the allusion to a poem about a boy chucking stones. I thought immediately – possibly it’s just me – of Omar K’s guy disconsolately chucking stones in a river whilst reflecting:

“On the other side of the river is a young man with a bottom like a peach.
But alas! I cannot swim!

I assume Keysar will be able to produce an impressive series of lifesaving certificates with breathtaking dispatch.

observa
observa
2022 years ago

Couldn’t we get him down to Victoria and into the clutches of Brack’s HREOC? I can’t think of a better way of occupying both Hilali and HREOC for years.