Bunyip’s Home Hints

The always entertaining Professor Bunyip – surely Gianna’s first choice for Godfather of the newly arrived Harley – waxes eloquent. In a, “you might get what you wish for,” cautionary tale, about the perils that that might await maritally-inclined poofs, he offers this gem:

“All this talk lately of gay marriage has served as quite the catalyst for contemplation. The first thought, the one that comes most readily to mind, is why any sensible person of whatever persuasion would aspire to a relationship in which one partner is immediately and formally recognised by salesmen at paint stores and furniture emporiums as enjoying the last word on decor and decoration. So, too, with shoes, for if gay marriage is to attain an equal footing with the heterosexual model, then one partner’s collection of brogues and Blundstones will need to be, if the Billabong’s non-metaphoric closets are any indication, greater by a factor of forty.”

I can put his mind at rest. Judicious selection of a gay partner with roughly the same measurements – including footsize – simply doubles the existing wardrobe potential available to both, with no further purchasing required! “Find a live-in boyfriend and double your wardrobe!” as they say in Darlinghurst.

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Dave Ricardo
Dave Ricardo
2022 years ago

What happens when you spill chilli sauce on your boyfriend’s favourite silk shirt while you are eating at the bistro of an Oxford street pub?

That would test any relationship, IMO.

Geoff Honnor
Geoff Honnor
2022 years ago

If your boyfriend is wearing a silk shirt these days he’d be a bit suss, You’d wonder if he’d gone metrosexual on you Dave. Boys in Oxford St these days tend more towards your camo pants, muscle T and buzzcut look :)

wen
wen
2022 years ago

At least if your partner’s a bloke you don’t have to contend with the dreaded, un-iron-outable tit-mark when you share shirts. (well, hopefully not…)

Ken Parish
Ken Parish
2022 years ago

I’ve never had to worry about partners having the last word about painting and decoration. As well as apparently having a deep attraction to Catholic girls named Jenny, I also seem to have an unerring subconscious desire for women who insist that all walls must be painted white. At least it saves on arguments at paint stores, not to mention any need to match colours when repainting. However, since I no longer live with any of them, I’m sorely tempted to try a daring gesture of interior decorating rebellion. I’m going to take a leaf out of the book of that poof on Changing Rooms, and lash out with a rag-rolled plum-coloured feature wall in the bedroom.

Geoff Honnor
Geoff Honnor
2022 years ago

“I’m going to take a leaf out of the book of that poof on Changing Rooms, and lash out with a rag-rolled plum-coloured feature wall in the bedroom”

Are proffered viewings of rag-rolled plum-colured feature walls in the bedroom the new millenium equivalent of invitations to check out one’s etchings? Must be a Darwinetrosexual thing.

wen
wen
2022 years ago

hmmm – think that should be ‘tit-marks’, or is it ‘tits-mark’ ? Maybe breast-distension ?

observa
observa
2022 years ago

There are some of us who don’t see homosexuality as normal or natural in much the same way as paedophilia or sadism and masochism, although the last two could be said to produce a highly satisfying relationship. Homosexuals apparently make up 4-5% of the population, which would roughly place one in every classroom of heterosexuals. With an increased tolerance in liberal democracies, this is now easier to measure than the rate of paedophilia.

The question now arises, as to whether or not our society should exalt homosexual relationships, in the way it clearly does with heterosexual marriage. In my view it should not because of the degree of naturalism in the latter. Heterosexual marriage is largely exalted as the most desirable institution for procreation and rearing of children. We clearly observe the poor outcomes when it fails to achieve this. Our society positively discriminates in its favour for this reason.

If you believe in this naturalist approach to heterosexual marriage, to be consistent, you will believe in natural procreation as well. This clearly precludes homosexuals procreating and raising children. That would be the end of the story, if it were not for the dangers you already see in unnatural procreation for heterosexual couples. With unnatural technical intervention like IVF and genetic manipulation in conception, a Pandoras Box has been opened up. Homosexuals could have access to this too if you believe all relationships are equivalent.

Those who pooh pooh naturalism and wish to ditch this for an anything goes approach, now have to defend the practice in countries like China and India having a preference for male children. They will get their equal rights for hommosexual couples(presumably males as well eventually), but also wear the negatives of their unnaturalism. With genetic screening, etc, they may one day face the likelihood, that just as parents don’t want physically defective, or certain sex children, they will not want homosexual ones either. Welcome to the brave new world of your unnaturalism.

Nabakov
Nabakov
2022 years ago

“There are some of us who don’t see homosexuality as normal or natural in much the same way as paedophilia or sadism and masochism…etc.ect”

So? 100% of all cases of incest and spousal abuse happen within families. I don’t see any moves afoot to refuse legal sanction for this institution which is clearly a hotbed of abnormal and unnatural behaviour.

“With genetic screening, etc, they may one day face the likelihood, that just as parents don’t want physically defective, or certain sex children, they will not want homosexual ones either.”

So you’re implying same-sexers are born, not made? Kinda hard to call homosexuality unnatural then, isn’t it?

“but also wear the negatives of their unnaturalism”

And fashion advice too? Whaddya? Straight Eye for the Queer Guy?

observa
observa
2022 years ago

Nabakov,
I’m not saying homosexuality is not naturally occurring. It clearly is, along with many other sexual and cultural proclivities. Whether you should laud these equally in your society is another matter.

I personally do not advocate or laud promiscuity either. Faithfulness and fidelity in relationships are important to me. Promiscuity can produce the bad outcome we observe with a certain number of rugby players and a young woman recently. She met a player and jumped into bed with him for quick sexual gratification. Some other men from that team presumably thought it was OK to give her some more. I advised both my son and daughter as to why this attitude toward sexual gatification with intoxicated strangers is dangerous. I was clearly making a value judgement. On the other hand, I am well aware that there is the view prevailing, that the young woman has the inalienable right to have as much casual, sexual pleasure as she wants and say no to any more. Some like minded men had a similar outlook, with one serious oversight, it seems. I would therefore not advocate promiscuity in homosexual or heterosexual relationships.

Incest and spousal abuse are not normal behaviour although they do occur. Would you advocate we laud this behaviour by some form of positive discrimination, as we do with marriage? Interestingly enough, when societies remove the social disapproval of children out of wedlock, as well as paying SPB, we see suburbs of single mothers, with children to multiple fathers. How are these offspring faring? Society is much better served with children having a father and mother. This is not denying that a child is better off with the mother, where the father was abusive or incestuous.

My point is that societies build up social mores and customs(often supported by religious doctrine)over many generations, which should not be discarded lightly or selfishly. Marriage as an institution for procreation and the nurture of children is one such keystone. Child-rearing is not normally an option for homosexual couples in stable relationships. It can, or could be by technological means. Whether or not homosexual proclivity could be assessed in the womb is a moot point, but it is one we should contemplate when considering elevating the rights of homosexual couples to marriage rights.

Let’s move Mr and Mrs Observa, who are expecting their first child, on 20yrs, with an early visit to their gynecologist.

Dr: Come in and sit down and we’ll discuss the results of the screening you had last week.

MrsO: Is everything alright doctor, I’ve been on tenterhooks all morning.
Dr:Well I’ve just been going through the results of our very thorough test procedures here at Carefree World and I’ve got some very good news for you both. Your boy will be a strapping Angl-Saxon just like his dad, with blond hair and bluish green eyes. He’ll be in the upper quartile range for cognitive abilities. He should be between 6’3″ and 6’4″ like dad now and like dad was(chuckle), he’ll be lean and muscular, with a strong sporting disposition. Might make a pretty handy footballer with that build. Perhaps the Power MrO, with some of our excellent nutritional supplements?

MrO: You don’t know how relieved the missus will be to hear everything’s OK doc.

MrsO: Is that all there is doctor?

Dr: Well there is one small thing for you both to consider. As you know our testing is very meticulous, and I have to inform you both, the results do indicate an 85% likelihood your son will be homosexual…….
I can see you will both need some time to talk things over. We have some excellent literature on your options and of course we are only too willing to facilitate the family’s wishes. Of course time is of the essence in these matters, so Trish will make another appointment to see you both, in a couple of days…

Now that is a question, I would not ever want to answer. I might well ask, how would homosexuals feel about the question. For me its a preference for vivre le difference and handling the growing awareness that my son is not like most others, as nature intended me to.

Geoff Honnor
Geoff Honnor
2022 years ago

“Your boy will be a strapping Anglo-Saxon just like his dad, with blond hair and bluish green eyes. He’ll be in the upper quartile range for cognitive abilities. He should be between 6’3″ and 6’4″ like dad now and like dad was(chuckle), he’ll be lean and muscular, with a strong sporting disposition. Might make a pretty handy footballer with that build”

Yes, well at that point you’d be absolutely certain that you were about to become the parents of a big old poof – Ian Roberts with blond hair, say,- and no mistake:)

“Now that is a question, I would not ever want to answer. I might well ask, how would homosexuals feel about the question. For me its a preference for vivre le difference and handling the growing awareness that my son is not like most others, as nature intended me to.”

Two things:

Homosexuality – like heterosexuality – appears to be innate. How it occurs we don’t really know but gay men will tell you that they just “always have been.” There was a certain short-lived fashion for lesbianism as a feminist political statement back in the 70’s but I’ve never heard of a gay man who “chose” to be gay – given the enormous discouragement inherent in homosexuality’s role as the last socially sanctioned hatred why would we, logically? We just are. Given the millenia long attempts to proscribe, discourage and destroy homosexuality, it’s continued presence – in every society – says something pretty powerful about it’s endurance as a normative part of human experience.

It may well become possible to genetically analyse an unborn child such that future sexuality might be predicted but it seems to me that it would be a very uncertain science. There’s however a wider question here Observa, within which this specific issue is subsumed: to what extent should we, as a society, be able to pre-natally intervene in pursuit of an ideated “perfect person” goal? It’s a much more far-reaching debate than the one we’re currently having.

I take some heart from your concluding sentence and it points to something that I think is very important here. People who live and love with homosexuals – Mums, Dads, brothers, sisters, aunties uncles – families, in summary – are rarely, (in my experience) anti-gay. Every poof and lesbian in Australia is as much a part and product of family as are their straight counterparts.

We aren’t a race apart – “the other” – we’re all of us.

Nabakov
Nabakov
2022 years ago

Observa, frankly my snarky little comment didn’t deserve such a thoughtful and well-reasoned response.

However, I would point out that the most secular Western country, the US, also has the highest divorce rates.

And it’s probably economic factors more than anything else which underpin the health and stablity of the social fabric, rather than mores supported by religious traditions.

Gianna
2022 years ago

I’ve never understood why straight men object to gay men – surely it greatly reduces the competition for females.

Ian
Ian
2022 years ago

Gianna; in my younger years, some time ago now, I copped a lot of flack at the Jesuit school I went to for trying to convince my mates of your very valid point. I was absolutely devastated about a year later went I saw two ladies kissing and thus found out about lesbians!!

zoot
zoot
2022 years ago

Observa – Marriage as an institution for procreation and the nurture of children is one such keystone is not a valid argument for all the reasons everybody has already raised in innumerable posts. My marriage, which has zero potential of producing children, is still valid and blessed by the Anglican Church. I take exception to your inference that it is not a “real” marriage.

mark
2022 years ago

Ah, but Gianna, the females get a say in the matter too. And to have the Object Of Your Desire lusting after a gay man she can never have can cause something akin to heartache in the apparently uninteresting heterosexual men she leaves in her wake… or, so I’m told.