Al Bundy waxing lyrical from current bitter experience on the qualities necessary for public service promotion in Canberra (or, I would add, anywhere else):
These people know ‘superior performers’ when they hear of one over their prawn toasts at a cocktail party. They’re not about to be seduced by the myth of merit based recruitment and selection. No, no, nooooo. Strangely, their idea of what it is to be ‘superior’ seems to coincide with Al Bundy’s idea of what it is to be a toady – that is, a sniveling wretch when it comes to taking the shit from above, and a hard-assed ball breaker when channeling these directives on to the innocent worker grubs below. …
They are the Guano People.
Teresa Jay, whose blog is called Red Wine and Vitriol, is an ex-Navy real estate agent, hates politics and apparently doesn’t write about it very much. But she’s wickedly funny just the same and a great writer, with a style not a million miles removed from Caz. She even uses “fucktard” liberally. Her apologia for rational political apathy is a little ripper. Here’s a sample:
I have a confession.
I don’t give a shit about politics.
I really don’t.
At times I wish I did. People get so excited about the topic, and I’d probably get invited to a lot more parties if I did. Pity. I like parties.
As soon as I hear the words ‘Labor’, ‘Liberal’, ‘Democrat’, ‘Backbencher’, ‘Wing (Right or Left)’, ‘policy’ or ‘vote’, my eyes glaze over and I start strumming my lower lip and making buzzing noises.
I’ve stopped telling people this though.
I get launched into with huge diatribes about my duties as an Australian citizen, and my responsibilities as a young, intelligent person in society, and as a matter of fact, why on earth don’t I care? It’s unnatural! Completely unnatural and completely reprehensible! …
Apparently Howard’s a twat.
Apparently Latham’s a twat as well.
Lots of people keep telling me these things.
(Chances are that they are twats too. Most people are.)
Latham’s not going to be Prime Minister though. The Media won’t let him. He won’t be as fun to draw cartoons of as Howard, and they wouldn’t be able to make constant witty comparisons to Mr Sheen or Penfold from Danger Mouse.
Latham also doesn’t have the word ‘WAR’ in his surname, which would spell disaster for bumper sticker makers everywhere.
(Who should all be fucked and burned in my opinion anyway – especially the ones who make those ‘Magic Happens’ ones. Fuckers)
Isn’t it beautiful that I exist in a society where my non-enthusiasm for politics gives me the right to live my day-to-day life and to vote for random names and faces, without actually giving a shit what they have to say or having a carbine put up against the back of my head while I do it?