A death beast mind unravels

He’s an evil bastard, that Latham. Now he’s suborned a couple more generals to back up that porn-perving prick Scrafton. Lucky the Great Leader’s still got some loyal staffers who can corroborate his story. He never told them about Scrafton mentioning anything apart from that video. That clinches it. Why would they lie? Why would the Great Leader lie to them?

Anyway, the voters don’t care. They’re bored with the whole thing. And all politicians lie. Don’t they? Trouble is, it’s distracting them from concentrating on the Great Leader’s great policies. Like cruise missiles, for instance. You never know when we might need to nuke Jakarta. Lucky we signed that Free Trade Agreement. We’ll be able to lease a couple of nukes from Dubya if he manages to beat that lying little surrender monkey Kerry.

And that fool Latham thinks he’s going to get mileage out of complaining about the Great Leader spamming the electorate. Jeez, that one isn’t going to bite with the punters. Most people just love deleting dozens of the bloody things from their inboxes every morning. Builds character, the Mad Monk reckons, like saying the rosary over and over. But the Great Leader’s son Tim doesn’t look much like him, does he? Looks more like the Mad Monk, really. Surely not. He was at Oxford then wasn’t he?

timh.jpgActually, that smirk on Tim’s face looks an awful lot like Costello. Maybe that’s why the Great Leader hates the bastard so much. And his brother’s called Tim, too. But Janette could never be so cruel, could she? God, I wish he’d call the election. It’s so hard for a Right-Thinking Conservative to keep thinking right thoughts. Lucky the lefties are feeling the strain too.

About Ken Parish

Ken Parish is a legal academic, with research areas in public law (constitutional and administrative law), civil procedure and teaching & learning theory and practice. He has been a legal academic for almost 20 years. Before that he ran a legal practice in Darwin for 15 years and was a Member of the NT Legislative Assembly for almost 4 years in the early 1990s.
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Rex
Rex
2022 years ago

And what about Latham’s war record hey? Where was he when he battle of Long Tan was raging?

Shirking his duty by hiding out at Ashcroft Primary School that’s where, and whats more I’ve got access to the documentation to prove it.

Using the influence of his parents to keep out of the war was simply UnAustralian in my book, and now he wants more of this soiling of the Anzac tradition by encouraging reading, and encoraging parents involvent in kids education. He’s turning us int a bunch of pinko softies.

Al Bundy
Al Bundy
2022 years ago

Hmmm,

You’re no longer a swinging voter then, Ken?

One issue that I will take you up on, and that is the cruise missiles.

I suggest you have a look at this link:

The Indonesian military has expressed interest in buying more Kalashnikov rifles, helicopters, armed personnel carriers and Mi-17 helicopters, long-range S-300 air-defense missiles and portable Igla missiles.

You can find out more about the S-300 missile here:

The S300 PMU2 “Favorit” variant, or SA-10C GRUMBLE, is a new missile with a larger warhead and better guidance with a range of 200 kilometers, versus the 150 kilometers of the S300 PMU1.

The S300 PMU2 uses new 48N6E2 missiles, which weigh 1,800 kilograms and are 7.5 meters long. After a catapult “cold” start in the upright position, the 48N6E2 accelerates up to 1,900 meters a second in 12 seconds, and then hits the target from above. The 48N6E2 differs from the older 48N6E in having a new warhead designed for destroying ballistic missiles, with a warhead weight of 145 kilograms versus 70-100 kilograms. The S300 PMU2 can engage targets flying at altitudes ranging from 10 meters to 27 kilometers at a speed of up to 10,000 kilometers per hour.

Dunno ’bout you, but I can see why we’d want missiles with a stand off range of 250km to 400km. Guess it depends how many pilots you think we can afford to lose in the face of cheap Russian air defence hardware.

Rex
Rex
2022 years ago

Damn those Indonesians. Fancy having the gall to improve their defence without asking our permission.

Jacques Chester
Jacques Chester
2022 years ago

You must have woken up on the wrong side of bed. This is angrier than your usual.

Al Bundy
Al Bundy
2022 years ago

So I take it you don’t have any problems with the NMD program then, Rex?

Good, that’s solved then.

Ken Parish
Ken Parish
2022 years ago

Jacques, It’s not an angry post at all, just seeing the funny side of the current situation (albeit from the perspective of someone who’s fairly definitely decided to vote Labor this time, and who reckons Howard has worn out his welcome).

And Al, I’m not opposed to the cruise missile idea, it may well be strategically sound (I’m not an expert, so how would I know?). It’s just a current news story that you’d logically throw into the mix when satirising the mindset of a stressed-out RWDB.

Geoff Honnor
Geoff Honnor
2022 years ago

Ken,

Your disinclination for politics is proving to be every bit as resolute as your legendary disinclination for re-igniting the History Wars :)

Ken Parish
Ken Parish
2022 years ago

Yes, but I do both of them with deep civility.

jen
jen
2022 years ago

geoff
– or he might throw a little tanty and announce we are all too rude, he will never blog again and his woman is runaway forever.

chico o'farrill
chico o'farrill
2022 years ago

was it a month ago that ken threatened to take a long break from blogging, and suddenly produced several tons of text within days of the announcement?

i thought this blog was all about trust.

Ken Parish
Ken Parish
2022 years ago

“i thought this blog was all about trust.”

Not at all. It’s about civility, ya stupid prick.

Martin Pike
2022 years ago

What i’d like to see is Australia aping the warlike tendencies of some of its allies and acquiring lots of high end hardware designed specifically to hit Indonesia (we have, aside from terrorists, no one else we need defend ourselves against- unless we declare war on them).

Australia in 10 years, caught in an arms race with Indo and directly threatened by high grade weapons across the Timor Sea. That’d be just the country I want to have f*cking kids in…

mark
2022 years ago

Martin, don’t be so damn unpatriotic. They are, to quote an RWDB of my online acquaintance (and yours, I presume), A Potential Enemy. I’m not sure what it is about or Indonesian friends that make them A Potential Enemy; presumably it has nothing to do with them being close by and of the wrong skin colour.

I’m starting to feel relieved I’ve spend so long indoors playing computer games all these years when I could’ve been outside developing a darker tan; at least now I’ll be recognised as “white” when the people looking for Potential Enemies show up on my doorstop…

mark
2022 years ago

Martin, don’t be so damn unpatriotic. They are, to quote an RWDB of my online acquaintance (and yours, I presume), A Potential Enemy. I’m not sure what it is about or Indonesian friends that make them A Potential Enemy; presumably it has nothing to do with them being close by and of the wrong skin colour.

I’m starting to feel relieved I’ve spent so long indoors playing computer games all these years when I could’ve been outside developing a darker tan; at least now I’ll be recognised as “white” when the people looking for Potential Enemies show up on my doorstop…