He’s an evil bastard, that Latham. Now he’s suborned a couple more generals to back up that porn-perving prick Scrafton. Lucky the Great Leader’s still got some loyal staffers who can corroborate his story. He never told them about Scrafton mentioning anything apart from that video. That clinches it. Why would they lie? Why would the Great Leader lie to them?
Anyway, the voters don’t care. They’re bored with the whole thing. And all politicians lie. Don’t they? Trouble is, it’s distracting them from concentrating on the Great Leader’s great policies. Like cruise missiles, for instance. You never know when we might need to nuke Jakarta. Lucky we signed that Free Trade Agreement. We’ll be able to lease a couple of nukes from Dubya if he manages to beat that lying little surrender monkey Kerry.
And that fool Latham thinks he’s going to get mileage out of complaining about the Great Leader spamming the electorate. Jeez, that one isn’t going to bite with the punters. Most people just love deleting dozens of the bloody things from their inboxes every morning. Builds character, the Mad Monk reckons, like saying the rosary over and over. But the Great Leader’s son Tim doesn’t look much like him, does he? Looks more like the Mad Monk, really. Surely not. He was at Oxford then wasn’t he?
Actually, that smirk on Tim’s face looks an awful lot like Costello. Maybe that’s why the Great Leader hates the bastard so much. And his brother’s called Tim, too. But Janette could never be so cruel, could she? God, I wish he’d call the election. It’s so hard for a Right-Thinking Conservative to keep thinking right thoughts. Lucky the lefties are feeling the strain too.