Elite performance

Troppo is gaining a decidedly genteel, cerebral flavour of late. Nothing wrong with that, but for this Scots-Irish member of the oz trailer-trash class there’s a need for an occasional leavening of down-market physicality. And what better way to do it than muse about Brigid Delaney’s article in this morning’s SMH about the demise of the affair between Delta and the Scud?

Delaney quotes self-appointed experts who debunk the longstanding belief that a nookie before a big sporting event is bad for you. Sydney Uni academic Catharine Lumby dismisses it as sexist nonsense:

“That Delta has been said to be affecting Scud’s game goes to the old idea that women’s sexual powers sap men’s strength. At its heart is a fear of women.”

And Canadian psychologist Ian Shrier is equally dismissive:

“Superstitions aside, having sex before a big game or sporting event has little to do with who wins or loses.”

I can’t help wondering if either of them has ever had a good root. It’s certainly true that mediocre, utilitarian sex is usually restful: the physical release helps you sleep. But really great sex is something else again. It leaves every nerve ending tingling, and the hormones racing around the body for hours afterwards. Sleep is likely to be fitful while you linger in the delicious sensual afterglow.

It probably isn’t conducive to optimal sporting performance the next day, I reckon. Hence Solomon Haumono’s problems while intimately engaged with “Pleasure Machine” Gabrielle Richens. And Delta, despite her innocent eyes, must have similar elite-level horizontal folk-dancing skills judging by the Scud’s shithouse tennis form over the last 6 months or so.

About Ken Parish

Ken Parish is a legal academic, with research areas in public law (constitutional and administrative law), civil procedure and teaching & learning theory and practice. He has been a legal academic for almost 20 years. Before that he ran a legal practice in Darwin for 15 years and was a Member of the NT Legislative Assembly for almost 4 years in the early 1990s.
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Geoff Honnor
Geoff Honnor
2022 years ago

I think that you and Catherine Lumby may both be over-egging the Scud/Delta thing. I’ve actually read the central concern (while waiting in the checkout queue) as being more about how a pro tennis career in need of urgent repair might stack against the potentially draining effect of maintaining a high-profile glamour relationship. I assumed it was common knowledge that pro tennis players can still have lots of sex without having to carry any relationship maintenance burden whatsoever – and quiote possibly do – so I’m stuffed if I know what Catherine is blathering on about.

John Quiggin
John Quiggin
2022 years ago

On your theory, the Scud must have had great sex for most of his career.

Spiros
Spiros
2022 years ago

As a fellow Greek, I feel the need to stick up for the Scud. (By the way, is Delta also Greek? With a name like that …)

And, in case anyone is thinking about it, no tasteless comments about Greeks and sex.

Francis Xavier Holden
2022 years ago

Ken – Can you give me any information as to if Prof Lumby has sex before (or after) making media comments?

Does good sex before a media release have any effect on her ability to make sense? I am assuming that a successful post modernist tenured female academic only has “good” sex.

Could you ask her if her house husbang is diminished in his child caring and vacuuming after good sex with her?

Geoff Honnor
Geoff Honnor
2022 years ago

“On your theory, the Scud must have had great sex for most of his career.”

Indeed. Possibly approaching the quality enjoyed by economists, John :)

Andjam
2022 years ago

But really great sex is something else again. It leaves every nerve ending tingling, and the hormones racing around the body for hours afterwards.

By that reasoning, would sex on the same day as the match be a good idea?

Martin Pike
2022 years ago

I suggest an alpha male theory. While he is single and able to take advantage, he has a primal instinctive reason to dominate the rest of his (tennis) pecking(er) order. Once said pecker is under one particular set of wraps, this removes considerable motive- what is the point of being number one, with supermodels fighting to get to you, if you are warming your giro up on the same fire every night?

Plenty of satisfaction still to be had from a job well done, but certainly a decent piece of primal motive has been removed…

Ken Parish
Ken Parish
2022 years ago

JQ

Your Scud slag is a bit unfair. I just had a look at the ATP rankings over the last few years. Scud was at number 11 in the world in 2000, 104 in 2001, 80 in 2002, 9 in 2003, and is now back down at 80 again. But the form slump in 2001-2 was because of serious injuries. He doesn’t have any major injury now AFAIK, so you’d expect him to be hovering around the top 10 or thereabouts. The fact that he’s not indicates there’s something else wrong. Mind you, if it’s nookies, Paris Hilton probably won’t help much.

Mark Bahnisch
Mark Bahnisch
2022 years ago

Speaking of Paris, I was interested to read that she has already picked out the names for her two kids – London and China. Oh, and I have trouble believing she’s more interesting than Delta. Not that Delta’s very interesting!

Ah, don’t you love bitchy celebrity blogging? Incidentally, there’s some good posts about the Scud/Delta breakup over at Ausculture, a blog I follow religiously when Big Brother is on.

Nicholas Gruen
Nicholas Gruen
2022 years ago

Well a bit of nookie certainly helped JF Kennedy before a debate. He thought so anyway.

James Hamilton
James Hamilton
2022 years ago

Speaking of nooky and Armadillos, did anyone catch Jess & Marty’s wedding on Wednesday night?

I wonder what a poll from that crowd would tell us?

And I’ll say this for Paris, she works.

Diao
Diao
2022 years ago

There’s an important rule regarding sex before the big game: it’s a bit undignified during the national anthem

Yobbo
Yobbo
2022 years ago

He should have stuck with Anna Kournikova.

David Tiley
2022 years ago

If we treat our tennis players like horses – well, it is the spring racing carnival – then at least Anna was a chance to breed another generation of winners.

I can’t help thinking that we are talking about three varieties of fornication.. Ken’s great tingly stuff (helps to be in Darwin on a lazy afternoon), or his “how do I get to sleep after all this marking” practicalities, or Martin’s alpha male “pimpin, pumpin..” quickies which I suggest drove both Clinton and Kennedy.

I suppose that covers the field, at least for our sporting heroes.