I wasn’t going to bother with Hendo this week. In any case, Rowen at Sailing Close to the Wind has already posted ‘The Smaller Hendo’. The Currency Lad has been on the case, or maybe at the awards ceremony, as well… But basically, Hendo was right about everything and all other journalists were wrong. You go Gerry, you good thing. But maybe Denis Shanahan was reading. Shanahan points out that he was right about everything. So right was he, that he’s prepared to put his predictions for 2005 out there. The only possibly interesting one is that Costello might just fade away, given that Shanahan is said to have the good oil from Kirribilli more often than not.
If you want to read something interesting about politics in 2005, try Michelle Grattan instead. I’m restricting myself to predicting that there will be more revelations from beyond the grave from Princess Diana.
So, why not write your own predictions for next year? The thread is yours!
“The only possibly interesting one is that Costello might just fade away”
“All right,”
2005 Predictions
– Mark Latham will snot another taxi-driver by the end of summer. This pre-emptive strike on choking body odour, and ill-informed opinion will see him preferred Prime Minster by years end.
– Janet Albrechtson changes her image: After proving herself to be the wacko nutcase of the op-ed pages, and feeling, frankly a bit embarrased by her drivel, she drops the hard-edge horn-rim look, and re-images herself as voluptuous man magnet. This re-positioning allows her to take a role in Rupert’s other papers. An advice column: Ask the Skanky Ho!
– John Anderson – in a last ditch attempt to hold onto the leadership role in the ever depleting Nationals, bans the ’60s. Or tries to. “The sixties”, says John, “is what ruined everything. Until we get rid of its insidious influence, we’ll forever be corrupted. The best way to do this is to remove it at its source”. When theoretical physicists point out that its impossible to simply delete a decade, Anderson accuses them of bias, “just like that other hoodoo science – Climate change”
I predict that people will predict!
Homer Paxton will replace Peter Costello as Federal Treasurer.
Smaller but more discerning cuts of meat or a shift to stewing or offal.
As Twain would put it expect “death and taxes”.
Death – I know there is an American web-site where you can predict upcoming departues, I’d have my money on Bjekle Peterson but the crook still hasn’t croaked it. Other perennial favourites are Pope John Paul (who in his frail condition is a tragic site at every news event), Ronnie Reagan’s gone and the singer from Stone Temple Pilots seems to always poll well. Expect the grim reaper to make some more appearances in unexpected places, but tell him I’m out if he knocks.
Taxes – I can just see various Coalition dries going into paroxysms of rage when the Howard again does sweet FA after the drunking sailor excesses of the last election.
And even if Stephen is proved wrong in his prediction and taxes are actually cut, I’ll sure as hell get SFA out of them.
Tony will get back in. Geoff will probably get back in in WA but Howard is going to campaign heavily in WA elections – it will be Howard vs Gallop, an interesting campaign which will fly in the face of earlier campaign practice (keep it local and Feds butt out).
Bob Dylan won’t tour, we may have seen his last visit to Oz.
We shall see that things have only just started to go bad for the Left.
Alexander Downer will be Australian Of The Year.
I will visit the Kimberley (WA) and Victoria River District (NT) for the 2nd year running.
I may paint my bathroom and kitchen. Bathroom will be dark blue walls above the white tiles and a red stripe which will make it look like a Cunard cruise ship. Kitchen will be piss yellow apart from the black & white tile splash back. The idea of piss yellow near food will be sufficiently worrying to make me procrastinate about painting for another year.
Um, Sedge, I think you mean Lewis Carroll…
evidence will finally come to light that John Howard once patted Princess Diana in the small of the back. the scandal will be such that Tony Abbott will take power on a slogan of Pellian personalist democracy. postmodernity will finally have arrived. Thorpey won’t come out and Delta will be named songstress laureate. women will leave the workforce in droves and white picket fence sales rocket, restimulating the economy.