I watched Denton tonight and needed a shower on conclusion. He interviewed Frederick and Mary Glucksburg. A couple who might have been a mid-ranked corporate duo anywhere in the western world really – perhaps a double -diamond Amway family or goodlooking Scientologists maybe. But they’re currently gigging as Crown Prince and Princess of Denmark.
Denmark last sprang to world prominence in the time of Otto Von Bismarck and the Schleswig-Holstein Question. Since then, it’s been pretty quiet – a silence broken only by the glurp associated with necking rollmop herrings, followed by interminable choruses of ‘Wonderful,Wonderful Copenhagen, Salty Old Queen of the Sea. ‘ Then Mary Donaldson, Sydney real estate agent, met a smiley little chinless bloke at some bar during the 2000 Olympics. He turned out to be Fred Glucksburg. They got married, they’re back in town and we haven’t been this far up to our ears in royalist sycophancy since the Queen’s post-coronation visit.
In all the traditional centres of Republican fervour – Fairfax, the ABC, etc – we’ve been treated to the sort of mass tongue-flicking once ascribed to the sort of conga-line of suckholes that doesn’t hold press passes.
On Sunday, Radio National’s news bulletins ran leads consisting pretty much of “Her Royal Highness stepped out in in a dusty pink ensemble accompanied by her old friend Onya Bakubich. They lunched at Rose Bay Rascals before boarding Concorde for the flight to Rushcutters Bay. Her Royal Highness graciously waved (it’s just like changing a light bulb really, ha, ha ) to the assembled masses on de-embarkation and kindly consented to walk across the prone body of Mr Bob Carr enroute to her royal husband’s yacht. The Royal couple then drove back to the Sydney CBD – which has been put at their total disposal for the duration of their visit – in a Chariot of Fire, through adoring throngs. Ms Kylie Minogue serenaded them atop a giant Ken Done emboidered thong – ” I should be so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky” – en route. Baroness Sorenson-Vikingraider was in attendance.’
Mary is 8kg lighter and has miraculously changed her voice. She now sounds (curiously) like Juanita Phillips after 6 months in Durban. If this is what learning Danish does to you, I’d advise against it. The perpetually smiling Andrew Denton used “Royal Highness” no less than 950 times in a 40 minute interview. He resembled a shark on e.
I think the point is supposed to be that they are very different Royals from the Windsors. But are they? Fred is the great-great grandson of King Christian IX whose daughter, Alix, married Edward VII. The Queen and Prince Philip are both his great-grandchildren and Charles (whose arrival in Perth is imminent) like Fred, is a great-great. They’re the same bloody crowd!
I just hope we get a moment to catch our Republican breath before Her Royal Highness, Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden arrives….she’s related as well…