Fresh from a coup in snatching the free to air coverage of The Ashes series against England which Channel Nine declined and the ABC dithered over, public broadcaster SBS will tonight show highlights of the Danish Royal Wedding. I’ll be watching – I still have Princess Diana’s funeral on tape, stayed up to watch the wedding of Prince Edward to Sophie, Countess of Wessex, and gloried in a forfeit win in the school debating championship in 1981 because the Girls’ Grammar Team stayed home to watch Diana get hitched. Like Tony Abbott, I’m entranced by the mystique and glamour of monarchy despite Geoff’s perhaps justified cynicism… Am I being serious? Who knows? You’d have to be a critic of Derrida’s troubling of the serious/non-serious distinction in speech act theory to figure it all out once and for all. Who’s to say what my intention as an author is? All I know is that I’ve been oddly fixated, ever since Chris mentioned the uncanny resemblance between our Mazza and the divine Goddess Emma Peel. Maybe there’s a bit of the liturgical queen in me. 10.30pm on SBS. What is it about SBS? They’re a cunning mob. They’ve seemed to weather the Howardian years quite well – perhaps they’ve got a few more political smarts than the ABC accountants…
ELSEWHERE: Zoe seems to think certain bloggers have taken Marymania a profound bow too far.
It’d have to be better than the abortion of an Agatha Christie remake on the ABC.
The ABC should sniff the zeitgeist and offer the adoption of an Agatha Christie remake?
Mary Donaldson is… a… hottie :)
I’d like to hear C.L.’s take on her, since he’s previously told us what he thinks of Mrs Simpson (oops, I mean Mrs Parker-Bowles, oops, that’s not right – a prominent Senator appointed by the Emporer Caligula – Incitatus).
She Stoops to Conquer.
I LOVE the Australian public I just love us. We don’t care who our monarch is so long as we have one and it’s pretty. I was wondering who else we might adopt to star in the meet and greet events and be so approachable.
OUR Mary oh exalted one! The Australian public fawns at your feet.
But I choose NEVER to stoop.
Because you know? All this ballyhoo turns my stomach.
[Whispers: I think it’s ‘I did BUT see her …..’]
But, jen, we need a symbolic head of state. We’re always told that by both Monarchists and Republicans. Gosh, we couldn’t possibly just refer sovereignty back to ourselves, the Australian people. It’s got to be ordained by God, or Parliament, or secret telegrams to the Queen, or someone – anyone but us Aussie people. And our Mazza is sooooooo much more glamorous than Lord Sedgwick… hang on, who’s the Governor-General, Archbishop Hollingworth? No that’s not right. He’s off in Toorak socialising. I think it’s Major-General Geoff. Jeff? Geoffrey? Jeffery? Who?
Oops, that’s the Sunday night cab sav writing, Rob. I’ll fix it.
Now Mark, just between you me and the blogosphere, before you run away with the posts, I trust you are aware that we have become a standing embarrassment, on both leftoid and feminist fronts. Witness Goddess Zoe, who I discretly cite as merely one of the more prominent among many, taking the piss severe:
http://crazybrave.blogspot.com/2005/03/something-is-rotten-with-particular.html
Oh, dear, Chris, we’ve been outed.
I do hope Zoe reads my post in a post-structuralist Derridean way for its disruption of the serious/non-serious distinction canonised by Austin and its hidden political intent hiding at the margins of my discourse – and a deep sense of po/mo irony.
But, hey, come on, surely Zoe would admit Mrs Peel is worthy of divine honours?
Let’s forget about Judeao-Christian values and be open pagans for a bit, maybe?
shouldn’t Zoe’s post read “Drs Christopher Sheil and Mark Bahnisch” – you know, for half of the duo in anticip… pation… ?
just on the feminist thing, I think Zoe’s being a tad heteronormative (as we po/mo graduates say) – Ms Donaldson has some female admirers as well (gush… gush… sigh…)
SBS has also gifted a hitherto unused neologism to the dictionary of rhyming slang: the wonderful Anton Enus. Mary Kosta was my older woman fantasy for quite a while – what happened to her? Anyhoo…
As long as they’re not our HODs Yellow, I’ve got nothing against royals per se. The Danes love their regal fam so good luck to them. Mary – she’s a bit skinny for me but, as Monty B would say, I still like the cut of her jib. Very elegant and sexy.
Re fantasy females, I was sorta disapponted with my Nigella on Parky Saturday night. She’s so deliciously brunette, plump and generally lovely. But she talks too much.
Oh Chris, re that thread at Zoe’s: I know you’re busy with the book – I’ll make that delivery if you like. Be glad to help.
What yellow said. I read Zoe’s post as having nothing to do with us but being about Flinty (who incidentally seems royally pissed about not being invited to meet Charles and having to line up with the crowds of demonstrative monarchists and demonstrating Republicans). That’s my story, anyway. No sense trying to turn this into some sort of meta-narrative! That’s so… modernity.
Gotta go now – 10.30pm Brisvegas time – must… watch… Danish… Royal… Wedding…
Incidentally, what ever happened to the eternal optimist Peter Ransen? Hope he’s doing fine!
Correction: HODs should be HOSs. Wrong species of prima dona on my mind.
That should be prima donna. I’m hungry. And I give up.
Great help you’d be CL. Bloke can’t even keep his thread straight. Stand down Lad.
It’s showing in the NT at the moment.
I’m sick of being a republican; it’s so bloody boring. I want to be a monarchist. I like the swords, the uniforms, the fairy tales, the blue blood, the stately dances, the groovy music, the history, the glamorous couple, the fireworks – the sheer bloody FUN of it!
Ah, now it’s over. It just finished. Maybe I’ll recover in a minute or two.
Rob, how did Roger Moore get invited to the wedding?
Dunno; did I blink and miss that bit? Reception’s not too good up here in Alice, so I may have mistaken him for a large garden gnome (or Vikki Versa). Both facially immobile, anyway.
At this point I still want to be a monarchist. I’m waiting for it to pass.
oooh Mark I do love it when you get exited (about something I actually understand)
I, of course, should be a Republican as an American citizen, Rob :)
two quick comments –
(a) Princess M
sorry, I just don’t get it …
partly because i remember that princess mary used to be a real estate agent and few of my experiences with real estate agents have been pleasant
but mostly because i just don’t get it
Jason, well, she’s a hottie first off :)
but more seriously, it plays into a big stereotypical narrative that any girl can be a Princess. works well for the Royals too – much better than marrying one of their cousins like they used to do.
Yes, yellow, yes and yes.
Yes because Zadok is better than any anthem I ever heard.
And yes because that’s the way to deal the monarchy. Democratise it! Strengthen that thin blue blood with commoner DNA. Then we keep all the fun and lose the guilt and unease.
Definitely want to become a monarchist. I just need to not feel bad about it….
we might have to move to Denmark to feel good about it, Rob. I could go live in Christiana, if it’s still there…
Christiana, of course, is the anarchist commune built on former naval land in Copenhagen. The former social democrat government allowed the Christianans to occupy and build on the site as a “social experiment”. Now the right wing government wants to kick them out, or maybe does. There was a very good doco on this on sbs last year – anyone know the latest?
An anarchist commune – what a dispiriting concept. I can feel myself becoming a republican again. Damn.
Talking of anarchists, wedding guests and facially immobile garden Noams……..sorry. Bad Chardonnay.
Beg your pardon, yellowvinyl.
The girls who are nuts about Mary are all nuts too.
Nothing yet has topped Barry Humphries’ comment about the Prince going to Tasmania.
I don’t think Mary was actually a real estate agent, Jason, but a lawyer who worked for one.
Christ! They’re still here!? Are they ever going to piss off? This morning Crown Prince Frederick and Crown Princess Mary – wait for it – appointed Australian Hans Christian Anderson ambassadors! As the SMH gushed “Crown Prince Frederick chose a figure-hugging outfit with dark brown bodice and bronze-coloured skirt, topped with a matching broad-brimmed hat, for the occasion.
Crown Princess Mary wore a light brown suit with a bronze-coloured striped silk tie.”
The SMH also revealed that Andrew Denton had been appointed an ambassador along with Geoffrey Rush and Bryce Courtenay. “They’re all storytellers in their own right” said the Prince. Right. Andrew is his own conga line of suckholes in fact.
They came here basically because Fred wanted to go yachting – his choice, he doesn’t have to work –
and they’ve dressed it up a bit for appearances, but how do people who roll their eyes at Women’s Weekly Royal Tour coverage circa 1953 think that this is any different. I mean – what they’re wearing? The Prince’s banal observations reported as Shavian wit? Schoolkids saying “she’s really noice?” Get over yourselves at once!
I think the Danes get it and that’s what Oz likes about it. No hand picked upper crust virgin chick for them. It’s reliance on primal chemistry as well as accomplished style from the commoner gene pool they’re applauding. You get the strong impression this chick won’t end up a screaming anorexic fruitcake and Freddy boy is no silver spoon in the mouth wimp either. Snaggy moist eyes at the altar, had every aspirational commoner chick swooning in the aisles and signing up for women’s mag subscriptions by the drayload. No need to worry about household chores or getting the kids into childcare with Freddy Dreamboat either. What more could honest working girls the world over, want to dream about? The blokes can sneak a peek at the mags and drool over the yachts and cars, as well as noticing the digs don’t need maintaining or renovating either. The bird might look good in Emma Peel leather gear too.
“Snaggy moist eyes at the altar, had every aspirational commoner chick swooning in the aisles and signing up for women’s mag subscriptions by the drayload. No need to worry about household chores or getting the kids into childcare with Freddy Dreamboat either. What more could honest working girls the world over, want to dream about? The blokes can sneak a peek at the mags and drool over the yachts and cars, as well as noticing the digs don’t need maintaining or renovating either. The bird might look good in Emma Peel leather gear too.”
Obs, that’s probably the saddest glimpse thru the window of the heterosexual soul that I’ve had in a long time.
Speaking of sexuality and souls (and bodies), where’s the Mardi Gras report, Geoff? :)
Wasn’t there also a Swedish Royal out here at the same time as Charles, Mary and co?
Is there a season for this sort of thing?
Sad but true I think Geoff, but what’s the scintillating alternatives for the Repubs? The Hollingworths and Butlers? Even Days of Our Lives Wingnut, Di and Camilla make it game set and match for the Monarchs mate!