Do yourself a favour and read this superb post by guest contributor Kate at Mark Bahnisch’s Larva
tus Rodeo (can’t help calling it that – I blame Nabakov).
My sister Lynne has an intellectually handicapped daughter in her mid-twenties. She and her husband Ray have been through all the same experiences Kate eloquently portrays, and now also face the dilemma of how to provide for Lee as they near retirement age. Lynne is a prickly individual at the best of times, and she and I have a distinctly changeable relationship, but I often think about her, mentally put myself in her shoes and think how deeply worrying it must be to have a deeply loved child/adult daughter who will never be able to care for herself without fairly intensive support. It might be why she chain-smokes and argues frequently with the rest of the family. Mind you, she chain-smoked and argued with the rest of the family long before Lee was born, so let’s not get too carried away with maudlin sentiment.