Deep North Dispatch #2


A weekly wrap of what’s been happening across the Top End news-wise, which might be handy for former residents who really miss reading about this sort of thing. May contain cane toads and/or crocodiles.

DING DONG
Darwin military police are hunting for a serial flasher who is terrorising underwear salespeople. The supposedly well-endowed flasher, who wears army fatigues, has been nicknamed “Donkey Dong” by some city retailers. Several clothing and sporting retail outlets in the Mitchell Centre have been targeted over the past six months by the unidentified pervert, who calls shop assistants into the change room to see if his tight underwear “fits”.
Source: news.com.au
BOOZE NEWS 1
Almost half the road accident deaths in the Territory last year were caused by alcohol, the NT Road Safety Council says. There were 55 fatalities on NT roads compared with 35 over the previous 12 months. Alcohol was involved in 44 per cent of the crashes.
Meanwhile, in response to NT government plans to introduce ‘alcohol courts’ to combat anti-social behaviour the CLP opposition, obviously longing for the good old days, launched a policy that would re-criminalise drunkenness. As debate was proceeding in the Territory parliament police were clearing city streets of itinerants because a luxury cruise ship full of rich people was in port.
Source: NT News

EPIC TERRITORY
Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman will team up with director Baz Luhrmann for a ‘sweeping historical saga’ to be filmed partly in the NT. The as yet untitled epic begins in the mid-1930s and concludes with its major set-piece, the 1942-43 Japanese bombing of Darwin and the exodus south. Luhrmann, who has researched the film for 10 years, said the tale will be a “mythological telling” drawn from books and historical material. “Russell, Nicole and I have been wanting to do a large Australian piece for a very long time,” the director said.
Source: news.com.au
BOOZE NEWS 2
A Territory town has been declared ‘dry’ for five days after an alcohol-fuelled riot earlier in the week. Northern Territory police are expecting to make a number of arrests over the riot in Borroloola. Police say the trouble started when a group of local residents were forced to barricade themselves in a bathroom after being attacked by 50 or 60 people. The house was extensively damaged. Police were able to break up the angry mob, but fighting later resumed on a road near the local primary school.
In other developments, ‘Thirsty Thursdays’ in Tennant Creek have been abandoned by the Territory’s Licensing Commission. Takeaway alcohol sales and front bar trading in pubs were restricted on ‘pay days’ in an effort to curb the town’s harmful levels of consumption. Didn’t work, apparently.
Source: ABC News Online/NT News
BOOMING BOOM
Almost $25m was invested in Territory mining during the 2005 September quarter, the sector’s strongest quarterly performance in ten years. All up, 751 exploration licences were granted last year compared to just 270 in 2000. Whether the explorers will actually get to dig anything up is not known.
Meanwhile, Swiss-based Xstrata has threatened to shut down the McArthur River mine if they are prevented from switching to open-cut. The company’s expansion proposal includes plans to divert almost 6km of the river, something deemed too risky by the NT government.
Source: NT News
NO LIZARD LUNCHES
Federal member for the Darwin seat of Solomon Dave Tollner – of whack-a-toad-with-a-golf-club fame – has called for a croc-proof pool to be built at Twin Falls in Kakadu. “Visitors should be able to swim without the worry of becoming lunch for large lizards,” Tollner said. He was speaking after the launch of Kakadu’s new draft management plan, which doesn’t include plans for any croc-free swimming enclosures.
Source: NT News
ONE LINERS– The Northern Territory Chamber of Commerce says major increases to zonal tax rebates proposed by Queensland Senator Barnaby Joyce would encourage more people to move to the Territory.
– The Federal Government has pledged that none of the weapons the US Air Force drops on Territory training ranges will contain depleted uranium. Good-oh.
– The annual crocodile egg harvesting season in the Top End is under way with up to 20,000 eggs to be collected in the name of crocodile conservation.

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Anna Winter
Anna Winter
15 years ago

I heard one of your MPs on NewsRadio the other day explaining that you should ban drunkeness because of “public swearing, urination and defecation”.

In whose world does the former in any way compare to the latter two? My God – and I thought we West Aussies were strange.

Ken Parish
Admin
Ken Parish(@ken-parish)
15 years ago

Fuck off, sandgroper.

No, no, sorry constable, it was just a joke. Really.

Yobbo
Yobbo
15 years ago

My flatmate was arrested last year for public urination. His statement to the police was “I was busting and I still would have gone even if you had your gun out”.

Geoff Honnor
Geoff Honnor
15 years ago

“Darwin military police are hunting for a serial flasher who is terrorising underwear salespeople. The supposedly well-endowed flasher, who wears army fatigues, has been nicknamed “Donkey Dong”

BlueBolt
15 years ago

In Dubai the penalties for drink driving are; 1st offence – car is impounded for 6 months & 3 nights in Gaol. 2nd Offence – you don’t get your car back at all & 6 months in Gaol.

Its a policy that might just have an effect :-)

Ken Parish
Admin
Ken Parish(@ken-parish)
15 years ago

You couldn’t have a law like that in Darwin. Everyone would be either walking or in gaol.

James Farrell
James Farrell
15 years ago

Military police? So if I put on some army pants from the disposal store and then steal fruit from the greengrocer, they will send the Miiltary Police after me? Anywhere? Or only in the NT?

Geoff Honnor
Geoff Honnor
15 years ago

“Military police? So if I put on some army pants from the disposal store and then steal fruit from the greengrocer, they will send the Miiltary Police after me? Anywhere? Or only in the NT?”

Probably the latter, James, and then only if you’re well-hung, it seems.

Nicholas Gruen
Admin
Nicholas Gruen(@nicholas-gruen)
15 years ago

James,

Only if they like the look of you.

Ken Parish
Admin
Ken Parish(@ken-parish)
15 years ago

I don’t want to disappoint you Geoff, but it may all be a storm in a teacup (or at least a Y-front). Most commentary on the original story in that great journal of record the NT News has overlooked the following possibly critical aspect:

One retailer who outfitted the man with a pair of bicycle pants recently said he revealed himself to her. After getting a good look, she believes the serial flasher may be using a stocking to fake his credentials.

“It fell out of his pants and he said, `That’s so embarrassing, it happens all the time’,” she said.

Francis Xavier Holden
15 years ago

well-endowed. flashing. beatup. (ffnaww fnnnr guffaaww)

Evil Pundit
15 years ago

It’s still a good beatup, but now it’s SHOCK JOCKS: SOCK COCK?

morganzola
morganzola
15 years ago

As a beatup piece, I reckon it sounds more like a cod piece. Or perhaps it’s just his sock puppet gone south?

david tiley
15 years ago

Do we love this feature? We LOVE this feature.

Nabakov
Nabakov
15 years ago

This is really is all the news that fits we print.

My brother who lives in FNQ occasionally compiles and circulates clippings of the more outr

Geoff Honnor
Geoff Honnor
15 years ago

“It’s still a good beatup, but now it’s SHOCK JOCKS: SOCK COCK?”

JOCK COCK SOCK SHOCK I think, Evil, but that was an impressive effort.

Tony.T
15 years ago

Don’t forget the biggest NT news of all: Davey’s Demons Dump Dogs in Darwin. Or even Motlop’s Melbourne Mauls Muts at Marrara in Monsoon.

Nabakov
Nabakov
15 years ago

“I’ve certainly lowered the tone.”

Well it’s brought me back. That and the fact it’s a Graeme Bird-free zone.

“”It fell out of his pants and he said, `That’s so embarrassing, it happens all the time’,” she said.”

She should have then struck while the iron was hot. “Well, have you checked out our range of gravity socks Councillor? However we don’t sell them individually.”

Ken Parish
Admin
Ken Parish(@ken-parish)
15 years ago

“Well it’s brought me back.”

And me too.

It’s been pretty heady around here lately, a strategic lowering was neccessary.

And Parish is much happier just left of centre or …. now let me feel … n, no, yes, it is left.