You’ll be lucky if you can get this person to work for you

I always think of this line when asked for a reference. Today Crikey carried a whole bunch of similarly ambiguous one liners for references from LIAR The Lexicon of Intentionally Ambiguous Recommendations.
They’re over the fold.

  • I cannot recommend this person too highly.
  • I recommend this candidate with no qualification whatsoever.
  • He has made immeasurable contributions to our firm.
  • In all the discussions she and I have had over the years, her salary never came up.
  • I simply can’t say enough good things about him.
  • I am sure that whatever task she undertakes — no matter how small — she will be fired with enthusiasm.
  • I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine.
  • She is always trying.
  • He is a difficult man to replace.
  • She is one of the most discriminating people you’ll ever meet.
  • He will take full advantage of his staff.
  • She takes a lot of enjoyment out of her work.
  • His input was always critical.
  • I found myself frequently raving about her work.
  • I would place this student in a class by himself.
  • She is now ready to strike out in a career.
  • He is resigning a position that he has held with our firm for years. I truly wish there were more people like him.
  • We were teetering on the threshold of bankruptcy last year, but her efforts pulled us through.
  • For the services he has rendered to our firm over the years, we find ourselves deeply indebted.
  • She works without direction.
  • He works effortlessly.
  • To get the job done, we need ten employees like her.
  • Attacking a difficult challenge, she doesn’t think twice.
  • You should seriously consider initiating an offer since she probably won’t apply herself.
  • When he worked for us, he never did anything halfway.
  • We were forever asking her for new ideas.
  • You can’t offer this man too high a salary.
  • How did she manage those who worked for her? Quite fairly.
  • There is nothing you can teach a man like this.
  • She was never way from the job too long.
  • He is only 30, but he has the mental faculties of a man three times his age.
  • I would place her research on the cutting edge.
  • His potential clients always wind up giving him the business.
This entry was posted in Humour. Bookmark the permalink.
Notify of

1 Comment
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Gummo Trotsky
Gummo Trotsky
17 years ago

This is by no means ambiguous, but it’s a personal favourite – allegedly from a British Army Officer’s performance appraisal:

This officer’s men would follow him anywhere – but only out of curiosity.