Men in Togs

You might recall a few months back during both the Victorian and New South Wales State elections, when Opposition Leaders Ted Baillieu and Peter Debnam were parading around in Speedos in the lead up to their campaigns, that they were widely mocked for scaring the children and for employing such transparent election stunts.

Well today weve put those images completely out of our mind, as along with readers of Australias most popular newspaper The Herald Sun, we receive a lesson on how stylish the humble Sluggos can be when worn with the appropriate élan.

Buff Billionaire Jamie Packer was snapped this week in his lollybags while cavorting in the Mediterranean with beautiful bride-to-be Erica Baxter, and The Herald Sun was not ashamed to admit that it had good long gawk at Mr. Packers photos and was definitely giving the thumbs up.

Quintessentially Australian raved The Herald Sun, who summoned a panel of swimwear experts who then confirmed Mr. Packers patriotic proportions and added that it takes a confident man to pull off the brief bathers look with the eyes of the world upon him.

And there is little doubt that Mr. Packer has pulled of the look. All senior News Corporation personnel contacted by this correspondent confirmed that Mr. Packer looked every inch the powerful man he is. All of them were effusive in their praise with one adding that he looked bloody marvellous. You cant get much better endorsement than that.

Its difficult really to find enough superlatives to employ at a moment like this, and so we turn to tasteful alliteration as the only form capable of capturing the majesty of the moment.

Bulked-up Billioniaire bravely brandishing burnished bod, bags beautiful Baxter babe. Parading with pride pulls. Hope given to millions.



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17 years ago

At least no one can ever accuse him of being gutless.

david tiley
17 years ago

Ah, genetics.

Given the flaccidity of his tum-tum, did he go on a diet before the wedding?


[…] Mr Ringschott has a wee look at James Packer in his speedos, and we think that manboobs are nature’s revenge for obscene […]

17 years ago

I have a theory, Aussie men start and finish their lives swimming in Speedo’s. Therefore the middle period, the Boardie interval, is a measure of a truly independant cognitive Aussie man.
PS it’s just shrinkage bastards, i’m not jealous.