Mr. Howard sizes up Dunga Gin

howarddunga.jpg

You may talk o’ bat and ball
An say Warneys great an all,
An’ pay omage to The Don just like yer mean it;
But about that funny thing
On yer head ol Dunga Gin
Did yer get it cleared by Customs when yer brung it?
cause weve got standards ere yknow
Were not yer alf-baked bloomin show
Were the faithful servants of Er Maj the Queen
And dont go scare the wimmen
By strippin off and swimmen
Down Coogee Beach before yerv scrubbed up clean

It goes “Oi! Oi! Oi!
With three Aussies loud, me boy!
Practise this exclamation
Then contact immigration
And maybe you can stay ere, Dunga Gin!

Yer a biggish kinda bloke,
And Im a runt. Dont larf. No Joke!
But Ive got the power in me little hand
To put you in for years
For yer disrespecful sneers
cause that is somethin, for with which, I will not stand.
Youll linger in a cell,
Youll live relatively well;
Itll be good for you, and me, Dunga Gin.
And after due consideration,
For yer case. Yer situation.
Well export you back, for free, Now thats Win-Win.

It goes “Oi! Oi! Oi!
Its election time me boy!
Ive got a hat. I need a rabbit.
Yer, the best Ive got. Dag nabbit!
You can be of some use yet ol, Dunga Gin!

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link
link
14 years ago

thank you.

Jason Soon
Jason Soon
14 years ago

Ooh how very clever except

1) the fellow happens to be a Sikh, and they have a long association with the British empire. A lot of them ended up as soldiers in British colonial armies. Also Sikhs and Muslims have tended not to get along in India.

2) Howard has expressed reservations about fundamentalist Islam, he has no problems with Indians from the subcontinent per se

3) it’s the Greens and Labor who are rabitting on about the evils of guest workers bringing down wages and the Greens who have a zero net immigration policy. Immigration has increased substantially under Howard.

what a tosser you are.

Rex
Rex
14 years ago

Why thankyou Jason.

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[…] Ringschott’s Howardian take-off of Kipling’s Gunga Din is one of the funniest things one Missing Linker has read in a long time, and shortlisted for Best […]

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[…] Ringschott’s Howardian take-off of Kipling’s Gunga Din is one of the funniest things one Missing Linker has read in a long time, and shortlisted for Best […]

C.L.
C.L.
14 years ago

Tricky lefty photo editors. Yawn.

amphibious
14 years ago

IF ONLY… the refrain of the poem is “You’re a better man than I am Gunga Din.”

Armchair
Armchair
14 years ago

Jason,

“More specifically, Corpulent Paleface Leftys clever dig doesnt work because
1) The fellow happens to be a Sikh, and they have a long association with the British empire. A lot of them ended up as soldiers in British colonial armies.”

I confess I dont understand how the fact that this man is probably a Sikh means the dig dosent work ?

If youre inferring that as a Sikh he couldnt possibly be a terrorist youre simply demonstrating your ignorance of recent history A quick Google of golden temple massacre or Indira Gandhi assassination might give some pause for thought.

2) Howard has expressed reservations about fundamentalist Islam and has no problems with Indians from the subcontinent per se or indeed with any ethnicities dissimilar to those of Corpulent Paleface Leftys

So the Tamils recently arrested for terrorism related offences can rest easy I guess.

3) Its the Greens and Labor who are rabitting on about the evils of guest workers bringing down wages and the Greens who have a zero net immigration policy. Immigration has increased substantially under Howard.

Shhhhh.. this is something that this Government doesnt really want put about It doesnt sit well with the Howard battlers you know

Rafe
14 years ago

What Jason said.

But never mind about the facts, its an election year!

Enemy Combatant
Enemy Combatant
14 years ago

Great photo, Rex. Almost saved a thousand(or so) words from Jason.

Jason, if you challenge Rex’s choice of photo on nuance, did you see the one on the front page of Citizen Rupert’s Daily Telly on July 12? You remember the one, a green and gold track-suited Mr.Howard was captured mid-stride, head bowed like a beaten favourite, with his City of Sydney: the hanger, harbour, high rises and opera house in the background, under the header: SYDNEY WALKS AWAY FROM PM

Jason, what sort of “very clever” message do you think Mr. Murdoch was sending to the regular readers of his colourful tabloid?

Rex
Rex
14 years ago

Photo was from the front page of Tuesday’s OZ E.C. – The Oz article didn’t fit the image so I thought a rewrite was in order.

The mistake I made was not to have the copy checked by Mr. Soon’s comedic quality-control before publication. Ah well, we live and learn.