Spooky arguments for the existence God # 1

Well no doubt others have posted this around the traps, but Tim Watts posted this truly spooky argument for the existence of God.  You might think the arguments are obvious, but that’s always the case once things are pointed out.

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JM
JM
13 years ago

This one’s been around for a while, but is completely whacky.

Banana’s (as we know, love ’em and eat ’em) are a human cultivated mutant – in all 4/5 faceted, hand-fitting form.

The things we buy in shops are all sterile clones that are “fertilised” entirely by human agriculture – they could not exist or grow without human cultivation.

“Natural” bananas on the other hand (ie. those that only need bees to reproduce) are a.) virtually inedibable as they are riddled with seeds and taste bitter; and b.) look more like avocados than the nice yellow, 4/5 faceted things that supposedly fit the human hand so well.

We can only eat the damn things because they aren’t embedded with seeds to reproduce when they fall to the ground – we are the “bees” in this case because we clone them by taking cuttings of an existing, sterile mutant strain.

In other words, bananas are the classic cultivated crop and evidence of nothing more than humanity’s capacity to grab onto something tasty and keep it going.

Nothing god-like here, nothing to see, move on.

gilmae
13 years ago

On the other hand, the banananananas we have now aren’t the original monocultured faceted yellow things. Could the blight that laid waste to the original strain of human-cultivated banananananana be taken as a sign of the vengeance of Zeus at the hubris of humans, interfering in his domain? Zeus abhors a monoculture?

Kymbos
Kymbos
13 years ago

Don’t monkeys have similar hands? Oh…

Pavlov's Cat
13 years ago

Well, that was a relief. For a nasty moment there I thought you were serious.

Nabakov
Nabakov
13 years ago

Actually God is in a pickle.

David Rubie
David Rubie
13 years ago

It’s not even a very good argument.

I like the “if I leave mouldy wet bread lying around, sometimes it turns spontaneously into BEER” argument myself. Only it’s a bit hit and miss as a method so God clearly doesn’t try very hard.

TimT
13 years ago

Instructional verses to believers

Don’t be fickle!
Be like the electric pickle!

God made you corpore sano with mens sana,
Just like a tasty ripe banana!

FDB
FDB
13 years ago

So the vast body of evidence that every other fruit is less suited to human consumtion means what exactly?

Gummo Trotsky
13 years ago

Re #5:

This is your brain on Christianity.

wilful
wilful
13 years ago

I like the story, repeated to me from god knows where, about South American natives deep in the jungle, whose diet is now heavily based on plantain. These were introduced from SE Asia such a long time ago that their mythologies all incorporate creation stories for the fruit. The gods delivered it in the mists of time…

D.W. Griffiths
D.W. Griffiths
13 years ago

So God made bananas.

Based on this, I’ve got a fair idea which %@!# created brussel sprouts.

Kieran Bennett
13 years ago

Ahh yes, “The Atheist’s Nightmare”, Ray Comfort is a first class comedian.

My favourite response to this was an animation of an atheist in bed dreaming. God is saying “I designed it for you, just see how well it fits into your hand”. The Atheist awakes with a scream, and exclaims “God is a sick bastard!”.

unique_stephen
13 years ago

Can any Christians out there explain then why my fav fruit – mango is so messy?

FDB
FDB
13 years ago

“Can any Christians out there explain then why my fav fruit – mango is so messy?”

You are clearly a heathen. Remove thyself to the market with haste and repent with the fruit which God hath designed for thee. Renounce your mango-loving ways!

David Rubie
David Rubie
13 years ago

Can any Christians out there explain then why my fav fruit – mango is so messy?

That’s easy – it necessites bathing. God loves you, but not if you’re sticky and smelly.

Guido
13 years ago

So the fact that God has made arms just the right length to reach your genitals for masturbation is also a proof that he/she exists.

Guido
13 years ago

Just read Kieran Bennett’s response. It sort of ‘fits’ with mine! :)

Nabakov
Nabakov
13 years ago

Get a grip on yourself Guido.

TimT
13 years ago

Pull the other one Nabakov.

Bruce
13 years ago

Can any Christians out there explain then why my fav fruit – mango is so messy?

We have masturbation covered with the banana, one needs to practice cunnilingus on something else.