I always suspected that Tony Abbott was a sheep in wolf’s clothing, a bit of a wimp when it came to the crunch. Now it’s been confirmed.
Abbott reckons that Peter Garrett should be charged with industrial manslaughter over the ceiling insulation debacle. But the truth is far more sinister. Abbott has failed to notice the overwhelming circumstantial evidence before his eyes that it was really premeditated murder; Garrett planned the crimes at least 23 years ago when he placed a cryptic clue to his evil intent in Midnight Oil’s seminal work Batts Are Burning (commonly misheard as “beds”).
If you need any further convincing (and what right-thinking person would), what about the rest of the lyrics including the deeply disturbing “it belongs to them now give it back”? It will be difficult if not impossible to prove, but it’s clear that Garrett conspired with the legion of disgruntled, inept Australian insulation installers to incinerate the McMansions of the nation’s aspirational middle class so their land can be returned to the indigenes.
I wonder if Tone might consider slotting me into a safe Liberal seat to take over from Barnaby in Finance?