I’ve thought this for yonks:
Few mainstream therapists would contemplate trying to persuade a gay man or lesbian to “grow up, get real, and stop being gay.” But most insist that long-term sexual monogamy is “normal”.
This doesn’t mean I’m throwing the switch to polygamy or wife swapping any time soon, but it’s always struck me how inconsistently we throw round arguments in the area of sexuality. Anyway, the quote above comes from this article which is well worth a read. HT Three quarks.
Can I take it you’re suggesting that the rise of class society changed our sexual norms? A good article, and I loved the last comment among many others that ‘just because you’ve chosen to be vegan, it’s utterly natural to yearn for an occasional bacon cheeseburger.’
As I do my shopping the meat section cries out to me from time to time.
From memory the word ‘class’ isn’t in the article. He mentioned the agricultural revolution, which is conjoint with the property revolution. Seems right to me, but I wouldn’t really know what happened before the agricultural revolution.
I guess what I liked about the article, and what I agreed with was its hostility to the highly morally charged way in which sexual politics is conducted. Not really a criticism of anyone – they’re in a political fight – all trying to ‘move forward’. But it’s unedifying to be told that it’s immoral to deny or suppress basic sexual urges (for instance of gay people) when I do that most days I walk down the street. (To be clear, I’m not against respecting gay relationships in all the ways we do straight ones.)
Nicholas Gruen quotes with satisfaction:
The cultural aspiration towards monogamy remains normal. This is the key issue, irrespective of any “startling revelations” about our paeleolithic tendencies towards sexual-free-for-alls.
Andrew Norton covers recent National Social Science Survey polling research on public attitudes towards extra-marital sex. He reports the findings show that the public is, if anything, hardening in its disapproval of hanky-panky.
No doubt there are any number of internet dating sites which prove that public opinion on this subject is humbug. But that only goes to show that the spirit may be willing but the flesh is weak.
Even if one has not experienced the trauma of infidelity at first hand (I haven’t, thank God) its obvious that younger people are very much more judgemental of Baby Boomers casual attitudes towards sacred vows. Over the past couple of decades two artists of genius have expressed this anguis in searing terms. “The Ice Storm” depicts the devastating impact that marital infidelity can have on children’s lives. And Kurt Cobain’s musice reflects the agony he experienced when his parents divorced.
Sometimes its cool to not be liberal.
Jack,
I’m monogamous and happily, faithfully married. I’m a bit of a fan of fidelity and marriage.
But Troppo is not a propaganda tool. We tend to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of various ideas. What I read of this book was very interesting and I think I agree with it.
If you want to max out on anti-liberal propaganda, you have the Family First party to vote for. Having watched a recent debate between them and the sex party, I didn’t much fancy either, but I did at least agree with the FF’s that external billboards should be G rated. Too right they should be.
A good book review of the book.