St Kilda Schoolgirl Tony Abbott shock link

See over page for Troppo’s exclusive revelations.

The other day I discovered a new expression: “click-bait”.  It was used on ABC Media Watch in connection with a concocted story repeatedly published on News Ltd websites about a German bloke allegedly killed and eaten by his own pet snakes, spiders, termites and geckoes.   Presumably the idea is to find or invent “Hey Martha” tabloid stories that will attract huge if momentary interest from casual browsers, who will click through to the story thereby boosting the outlet’s online advertising revenue.

It sounds like a great idea to me, so what better topic for Troppo to begin our click-baiting strategy than a story about the fabled St Kilda Schoolgirl.  She isn’t a schoolgirl and doesn’t live in St Kilda, but I need to keep reminding myself that the facts are irrelevant in the modern online media world. SKS’s ongoing saga is unquestionably the most successful bogan nonentity publicity stunt since the “chk-chk-boom” girl and just as fabricated.  SKS apparently scored a root with a young bloke who happened to be a St Kilda AFL footballer and took the opportunity to steal from his mobile phone a couple of naked photos of more prominent St Kilda footballers including superstar Nick Riewoldt.  After trying unsuccessfully to persuade St Kilda to pay for return of the embarrassing photos, she published them on the web along with a spurious assertion that she was a woman spurned who’d been made pregnant and then miscarried as a result of her quick bonk with the young footballer.

The media feeding frenzy began from there and shows no sign of flagging.  Channel 9 opened up a new front by paying for SKS to stay in a Melbourne hotel as a honey trap, and succeeded beyond their wildest dreams in attracting AFL agent sleazebag Ricky Nixon, an angle which has kept on giving to the media ever since.  Even sometimes sensible News Ltd celebrity columnist Jack Marx has jumped on the bandwaggon, opining that SKS and all other women need to understand that all any bloke is looking for is a quick root.  This revelation was greeted by Jack’s credulous readership as a dazzlingly penetrating insight into the innermost being of half the human race.  Jack and his readers appear to have overlooked the fact that this insight, simplistic or not, is clearly already known to SKS and in fact lies at the heart of her strategy for achieving and prolonging fame.

But that’s just the background.  What would you do if you were Channel 9 and were striving to squeeze every possible drop of juice out of the SKS saga?  The answer is obvious.  Even a cursory glance at Ricky Nixon shows that SKS is prepared to root just about anyone, however old and unattractive, if necessary.  Troppo’s intrepid investigative citizen journalist is currently probing strong rumours that the Nine Network has SKS holed up in a penthouse on the 5th floor of the Manly Pacific Hotel, where she’s busily texting Tony Abbott imploring him to drop by and give her some fatherly advice.  Watch this space.

PS Reader suggestions for other fabulously newsworthy “click-bait” stories will be gratefully accepted