St Kilda Schoolgirl Tony Abbott shock link

See over page for Troppo’s exclusive revelations.

The other day I discovered a new expression: “click-bait”.  It was used on ABC Media Watch in connection with a concocted story repeatedly published on News Ltd websites about a German bloke allegedly killed and eaten by his own pet snakes, spiders, termites and geckoes.   Presumably the idea is to find or invent “Hey Martha” tabloid stories that will attract huge if momentary interest from casual browsers, who will click through to the story thereby boosting the outlet’s online advertising revenue.

It sounds like a great idea to me, so what better topic for Troppo to begin our click-baiting strategy than a story about the fabled St Kilda Schoolgirl.  She isn’t a schoolgirl and doesn’t live in St Kilda, but I need to keep reminding myself that the facts are irrelevant in the modern online media world. SKS’s ongoing saga is unquestionably the most successful bogan nonentity publicity stunt since the “chk-chk-boom” girl and just as fabricated.  SKS apparently scored a root with a young bloke who happened to be a St Kilda AFL footballer and took the opportunity to steal from his mobile phone a couple of naked photos of more prominent St Kilda footballers including superstar Nick Riewoldt.  After trying unsuccessfully to persuade St Kilda to pay for return of the embarrassing photos, she published them on the web along with a spurious assertion that she was a woman spurned who’d been made pregnant and then miscarried as a result of her quick bonk with the young footballer.

The media feeding frenzy began from there and shows no sign of flagging.  Channel 9 opened up a new front by paying for SKS to stay in a Melbourne hotel as a honey trap, and succeeded beyond their wildest dreams in attracting AFL agent sleazebag Ricky Nixon, an angle which has kept on giving to the media ever since.  Even sometimes sensible News Ltd celebrity columnist Jack Marx has jumped on the bandwaggon, opining that SKS and all other women need to understand that all any bloke is looking for is a quick root.  This revelation was greeted by Jack’s credulous readership as a dazzlingly penetrating insight into the innermost being of half the human race.  Jack and his readers appear to have overlooked the fact that this insight, simplistic or not, is clearly already known to SKS and in fact lies at the heart of her strategy for achieving and prolonging fame.

But that’s just the background.  What would you do if you were Channel 9 and were striving to squeeze every possible drop of juice out of the SKS saga?  The answer is obvious.  Even a cursory glance at Ricky Nixon shows that SKS is prepared to root just about anyone, however old and unattractive, if necessary.  Troppo’s intrepid investigative citizen journalist is currently probing strong rumours that the Nine Network has SKS holed up in a penthouse on the 5th floor of the Manly Pacific Hotel, where she’s busily texting Tony Abbott imploring him to drop by and give her some fatherly advice.  Watch this space.

PS Reader suggestions for other fabulously newsworthy “click-bait” stories will be gratefully accepted

About Ken Parish

Ken Parish is a legal academic, with research areas in public law (constitutional and administrative law), civil procedure and teaching & learning theory and practice. He has been a legal academic for almost 20 years. Before that he ran a legal practice in Darwin for 15 years and was a Member of the NT Legislative Assembly for almost 4 years in the early 1990s.
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Jacques Chester
Jacques Chester
10 years ago

Also known as “linkbait”.

Success! I clicked.

Liam
Liam
10 years ago

This might be Club Troppo’s worst and most morally reprehensible post ever. So here I am!

Reader suggestions for other fabulously newsworthy “click-bait” stories will be gratefully accepted

“Exclusive! Paul Howes Sex Tape”

Liam
Liam
10 years ago

Then you’ve taken it in the spirit intended, KP.

mules
mules
10 years ago

“A Foreign Affair” featuring Julia Bishop and Kevin Rudd.

Also a NSFW tag should have been applied to both those pictures

jtfsoon
jtfsoon
10 years ago

“Exclusive! Paul Howes Sex Tape”

You are a sadist, Liam. That image will be burnt on my retina at least for the rest of the day

jtfsoon
jtfsoon
10 years ago

‘Mary Jo Fisher demonstrates the lambada with Joe Hockey’

Thomas the Tout
Thomas the Tout
10 years ago

Dear Ken,
I think you have invented a form of wit that is lower than sarcasm. Its weakness is that it may mislead: or be a “dog-whistle”, as even now your followers seem to be targetting one side of politics. I refrain that mentioning a series of ALP names.
Not funny; and an unwise choice to use to illustrate the newly revealed phenonomen.

margaret
margaret
10 years ago

tony abbott gets a back, sak and crack from pauline hanson

murph the surf.
murph the surf.
10 years ago

Jezz- that Thomas the Tout is an evil minded little f**ker!
Followers?! Liam Hogan a follower?
Shove for all it’s worth Tommy old son your humourlessness is priceless.
The chosen examples are just so right, just so sweetly timed to mean everything and nothing….
Newly revealed perhaps but only to a moron.

Liam
Liam
10 years ago

As Ken Parish was walking along, he saw a man called Liam sitting at the tax-eating booth; and he said to him, ‘Follow me.’ And he got up and followed him…

BobBobson
BobBobson
10 years ago

You want linkbait/clickbait open up news.com.au or smh.com.au 90% of the stories qualify.

paul walter
paul walter
10 years ago

Well, at least we know wehat the skank looks like now.
Abbott, I mean…