Spooky arguments for the existence God # 1

Posted on July 22, 2008 by Nicholas Gruen
Posted in Science

Well no doubt others have posted this around the traps, but Tim Watts posted this truly spooky argument for the existence of God.  You might think the arguments are obvious, but that's always the case once things are pointed out.

20 Comments

  1. JM
    July 22, 2008

    This one's been around for a while, but is completely whacky.

    Banana's (as we know, love 'em and eat 'em) are a human cultivated mutant - in all 4/5 faceted, hand-fitting form.

    The things we buy in shops are all sterile clones that are "fertilised" entirely by human agriculture - they could not exist or grow without human cultivation.

    "Natural" bananas on the other hand (ie. those that only need bees to reproduce) are a.) virtually inedibable as they are riddled with seeds and taste bitter; and b.) look more like avocados than the nice yellow, 4/5 faceted things that supposedly fit the human hand so well.

    We can only eat the damn things because they aren't embedded with seeds to reproduce when they fall to the ground - we are the "bees" in this case because we clone them by taking cuttings of an existing, sterile mutant strain.

    In other words, bananas are the classic cultivated crop and evidence of nothing more than humanity's capacity to grab onto something tasty and keep it going.

    Nothing god-like here, nothing to see, move on.

  2. gilmae
    July 22, 2008

    On the other hand, the banananananas we have now aren't the original monocultured faceted yellow things. Could the blight that laid waste to the original strain of human-cultivated banananananana be taken as a sign of the vengeance of Zeus at the hubris of humans, interfering in his domain? Zeus abhors a monoculture?

  3. Kymbos
    July 22, 2008

    Don't monkeys have similar hands? Oh...

  4. Pavlov's Cat
    July 22, 2008

    Well, that was a relief. For a nasty moment there I thought you were serious.

  5. Nabakov
    July 22, 2008

    Actually God is in a pickle.

  6. David Rubie
    July 22, 2008

    It's not even a very good argument.

    I like the "if I leave mouldy wet bread lying around, sometimes it turns spontaneously into BEER" argument myself. Only it's a bit hit and miss as a method so God clearly doesn't try very hard.

  7. TimT
    July 22, 2008

    Instructional verses to believers

    Don't be fickle!
    Be like the electric pickle!

    God made you corpore sano with mens sana,
    Just like a tasty ripe banana!

  8. FDB
    July 22, 2008

    So the vast body of evidence that every other fruit is less suited to human consumtion means what exactly?

  9. Gummo Trotsky
    July 22, 2008

    Re #5:

    This is your brain on Christianity.

  10. wilful
    July 22, 2008

    I like the story, repeated to me from god knows where, about South American natives deep in the jungle, whose diet is now heavily based on plantain. These were introduced from SE Asia such a long time ago that their mythologies all incorporate creation stories for the fruit. The gods delivered it in the mists of time...

  11. D.W. Griffiths
    July 22, 2008

    So God made bananas.

    Based on this, I've got a fair idea which %@!# created brussel sprouts.

  12. Kieran Bennett
    July 22, 2008

    Ahh yes, "The Atheist's Nightmare", Ray Comfort is a first class comedian.

    My favourite response to this was an animation of an atheist in bed dreaming. God is saying "I designed it for you, just see how well it fits into your hand". The Atheist awakes with a scream, and exclaims "God is a sick bastard!".

  13. unique_stephen
    July 23, 2008

    Can any Christians out there explain then why my fav fruit - mango is so messy?

  14. FDB
    July 23, 2008

    "Can any Christians out there explain then why my fav fruit - mango is so messy?"

    You are clearly a heathen. Remove thyself to the market with haste and repent with the fruit which God hath designed for thee. Renounce your mango-loving ways!

  15. David Rubie
    July 23, 2008
    Can any Christians out there explain then why my fav fruit - mango is so messy?

    That's easy - it necessites bathing. God loves you, but not if you're sticky and smelly.

  16. Guido
    July 23, 2008

    So the fact that God has made arms just the right length to reach your genitals for masturbation is also a proof that he/she exists.

  17. Guido
    July 23, 2008

    Just read Kieran Bennett's response. It sort of 'fits' with mine! :)

  18. Nabakov
    July 23, 2008

    Get a grip on yourself Guido.

  19. TimT
    July 23, 2008

    Pull the other one Nabakov.

  20. Bruce
    July 29, 2008

    Can any Christians out there explain then why my fav fruit - mango is so messy?

    We have masturbation covered with the banana, one needs to practice cunnilingus on something else.