Club Troppo

Reviving an old Troppo tradition – and you can cheat if you want to by following the picture’s url.

And what’s causing the dark streaks?

Disappointed Troppo readers everywhere have gradually come to a realisation – upon which I came clean on in a recent thread.  Troppo is really an ‘eyeballs’ play as we say in the trade and things haven’t been this good for eyeballs since Tim Blair sent some brownshirts our way a long while ago.  Anyway, it turns out that economic development has a surprisingly robust relationship with penis size. As this paper shows. Discuss with relation to any rocks you would like to get off. Baseless accusations are encouraged – though participants are reminded about our point of difference here at Club Pony – they’re not compusory.

I learned this somewhat startling fact last week. I was in a group of people – public servants – who clearly thought it was a problem, something to be ‘managed’ or ameliorated in some way. After all, it’s not very balanced is it?  Anyway my guess as to why it’s happening is the same as Frances Woolley’s guess which is this.

One theory is that women don’t edit Wikipedia because it is an ”obsessive fact-loving realm that is dominated by men and…uncomfortable for women.” A recent blog comment by Jaques Giguere attributed some gender differences in on-line behaviour to lekking – a form of sexual display where males congregate and compete for mates. I like the theory, but it strikes me that posting anonymously on Wikipedia is a pretty ineffectual way of displaying one’s prowess.

My own theory is that women are less interested this kind of intellectual competition – after all, deleting someone else’s entry is kind of the scholarly equivalent of checking someone into the boards and taking the puck off them. I also think that women are conditioned or programmed (take your pick) to be modest and value modesty – it’s not feminine to go to Wikipedia and create a page about yourself, or go through entries and add references to your own work.

Anyway, if anyone else has any ideas, please enlighten us.

I made a comment here a couple of days ago which I believe expresses the frustrations of many about the chronic failure of the Labor government, both under Rudd and Gillard,  to effectively prosecute the case for reform in just about every area:

The puzzle here, as in contemporary Australian politics more generally, lies in the evident inability of the federal Labor government to robustly and effectively defend and promote its own policies, and the equally evident unwillingness of the mainstream media to see its role as doing anything beyond “horse race” reportage.

Rudd was just an abysmal communicator as well as (apparently) a complete prick, but Julia Gillard clearly has the capacity to communicate effectively and engagingly.  Yet invariably both she and her Ministers choose not to do so.  It’s an observation Peter Lewis makes in an article at ABC Unleashed with specific reference to the Murray-Darling water debate, and that Niki Savva makes more generally in today’s Oz:

If politicians give journalists something interesting to report, and lead debates, then they will oblige by publishing it and broadcasting it. If politicians find new things to say about old issues, or say them in an interesting way, they will get run. As well as using the right tactics, they also need to muster the right arguments. They require a strategic approach, taking account of the pitfalls and dealing up front with them.

Politicians will not always like the way their remarks are reported. The reports could be negative, outrageously misinterpreted and downright unfair, but the Prime Minister, backed by her senior ministers, has to be out in the public arena leading and steering important debates.

Labor has largely allowed the public debate to go by default to the Opposition not only in the Murray-Darling water debate but on climate change, the current debate about the role of the independent Director of Military Prosecutions, and even the National Broadband Network,  just to pick a few current examples.

I can’t help wondering why?  Gillard is clearly no fool nor are her colleagues (well, some of them anyway), and there must be at least a few advisers with a bit of nouse.  So why are they continuing Rudd’s “strategy” of failing to engage pro-actively in substantive public debate until it’s too late and the well of public opinion has been irretrievably poisoned on a given issue? It’s a sincere question, and I’d really like some help from Troppo readers because I’m truly mystified and have been for quite some time.  Here are a few possibilities:

1. There is some deeply cunning principle of spin-doctoring that dictates failing to defend one’s own policies and giving an ongoing free kick to your opponents.
2. They really are trying to defend their policies, but they’re so bad at it that this is the best they can manage.
3. They are so busy with actual policy implementation that they don’t have time to publicly defend and prosecute the policy agenda.
4. They think it’s pointless to prosecute any particular policy agenda because they’re going to be forced to negotiate it with the Greens and Independents so that the final outcome may bear little resemblance to the initial policy proposal, so why bother risking antagonising potential losers when you can duck for cover, leave the public servants out front and refer the issue to a parliamentary committee?
5. They think that the great unwashed in marginal seats are completely uninterested in substantive policy in any real sense, and why waste time on the self-appointed cognoscenti minority like political blog readers,  ABC viewers and broadsheet newspaper readers?
6. The Parliamentary Labor Party is now so full of career politicians whose entire experience is in the union movement or as party apparatchiks that they have neither knowledge of nor interest in anything beyond their own immediate political survival.  They don’t in fact possess any substantive beliefs or policy aspirations at all, and therefore there is no issue worth defending unless opinion polls and focus groups suggest it’s worthwhile.  Policy is for “policy wonks”.

Please explain, as Pauline H once famously put it.

Yes folks as part of our relentless drive to leverage our world class infrastructure and skills to bring our readers to their personal delight point – and beyond, Subho Banerjee of PM&C emailed me (amongst others to tell me of the opportunities below). He assured me that anyone quoting the Troppo website and driving the Troppo Mercedes Sports to the job interview will be given priority for the job and free tickets to PM&C’s corporate box at the Commonwealth Games – flying First Class with Air India.

So, tell your friends that Troppo leveraged your delight point to optimise competitiveness in a globally competitive world.  Anyway, here’s the email/ad.

Folks, we are currently recruiting across APS4 to EL2 levels. I would strongly encourage you to think about people in your networks who might be interested in joining us, and forward application details as below. Please feel free to get back in touch with me or Michael Carnahan (cced above) if you want any further information. Apologies for any cross-posts. Thanks, Subho

***

The Strategic Policy and Implementation Group in the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet is looking for staff at all levels from APS-4 (just above regular APS graduate entry level) to EL-2 (our team leader/project manager level).

The Group undertakes strategic policy projects on some of the most complex public policy issues; and analyses progress of, and identifies ways to improve the implementation of Government priorities. In order to provide distinctive solutions to the highest priority challenges, our staff work in dedicated project teams using multi-disciplinary approaches that draw on current best practices in private and public sector strategy and management. People have the opportunity to develop strategic policy and program management expertise and apply that expertise to a range of issues. We work in small focused teams, which means that staff at all levels are directly involved in developing solutions, and our staff have the opportunity to learn from the expertise and experience of leading public policy practitioners. The Group works at the centre of government in an environment that values creativity and innovation – both in the way we work and the solutions we recommend.

More detail about the department can be found at the PM&C website:

http://www.dpmc.gov.au/about_pmc/index.cfm

and specific information about the positions can be found at:

http://dpmc.nga.net.au/cp/index.cfm?event=jobs.home

In terms of the application process, applications close at 11.30 (AEDT) on 10 October 2010. The selection process will involve a shortlisting, a written assessment (of an hour duration, undertaken online) and then an interview. If you are interested in working in PM&C more broadly then you should express this interest in the application. If your interest is in working only in SPIG, then you should also make this clear during the application process.

Dr Subho Banerjee

I’d read this paper.

Given that there are not, perhaps a Troppodillian will check it out and review it here.

A few years ago I sponsored a bunch of Afghani kids on a soccer playing tour of Queensland and NSW. It was a privilege to meet some of the kids.  I expected to find kids who’d grown up in a peasant culture, who would not be particularly interested in education.  One tends to think of ‘humanitarian’ migrants like that.  Not the greatest value economically, but we’re happy to do what we can. I guess those people who let my father into the country thought the same thing.  But he turned out OK.

Anyway, it was obvious from talking with the kids how wrong my ideas were. These kids wanted to be doctors, architects, engineers.  And they desperately wanted to educate themselves.  And now as Crikey! reports, some of the kids from the Tampa have been doing just that. In New Zealand that is, where some of them were allowed to land. The kid pictured – Abbas Nazari – is a mean speller, coming third in NZ’s national spelling bee.

Congratulations Abbas.

And I’m really sorry about the way we treated you – I still don’t know what got into us.

The Love Gods are back after a much-needed rest to recharge their advisory potency.  Replete with psychic Viagra they’re ready again to hop into another romantically beset reader.  This week we’ve raided the mailbag of Murdoch lovelorn columnist Kate de Brito, whose brother Sam was recently terribly miffed that we suggested he might not be the sharpest knife in the journalistic scabbard.

Our problem is in some ways a middle class version of that old traditional lovelorn anthem Frankie and Johnnie, which is fortunate considering that Dr Troppo seems to have developed an inexplicable midlife attachment to bad song lyrics and even badder whisky.  I just hope none of our Love Gods advise our correspondent to solve her problem the way Frankie did.

I received a Hallmark card yesterday in the mail, congratulating my husband on becoming a New father ???

Weve been married for 8 years, we dont have children of our own.  I have fertility issues.  My husband is 38 and Im 32.

I confronted him about the anonymous card, which only had the name of the baby girl stated on it.

What happened next has left me devastated.  I am in pieces.

The baby is the result of a short affair he had with a woman at work.  My husbands a physician and I am assuming she is a nurse ( he wont tell me).  The relationship ended when she found out she was pregnant and would not abort the baby as my husband had requested.  Around that time he stopped working at that hospital, and moved to another nearby hospital.

She already has two children from a previous marriage (so he says).  At present she is a divorcee.  She wanted him to leave me and marry her, so he tells me.

My husband and I have a great marriage (so I thought), best of friends, we have travelled the world together, I cant imagine life with out him.  I was planning to start fertility treatments this year.  There was nothing wrong at home in our marriage.  When I asked him WHY ?? why did you do this , he simply says its a mistake and its over, chapter closed.  He says if I leave him he will have nothing left in life to live for.  I see he has remorse, I know he would take it all back if he could. but I am in so much pain …. I lost my Mom to cancer a few years ago , the pain from this is even worse.

I am in a milllion shattered pieces.  I have no one to talk to about this.  This wasnt supposed to happen to me.  I feel angry sad helpless betrayed devasated lonely degraded and disgusted.

I dont know what to do, how to start over agin, I feel paralysed.  I hate him as much I as love him, how could he do this to me ??

Im sure she will file for Child support, why wouldnt she ?? Easy money, a successful physician, shell get every penny she can.  Im furious money that was meant for my family for our life together will have to go to this disgusting low life worthless woman, who together with my husband ruined my life.

Please help me please … I am devastated.

The Love Gods’ advice is over the fold.

(Continued)

(posted on behalf of The Receptionist)

Somehow it’s always me who ends up doing the work around here. As Dr Troppo’s receptionist I seem to have a never ending series of chores to perform. Clearing out beer bottles and pistachio nut shells from under his desk, washing cigarette butts out of his coffee mugs and calming clients after they’ve emerged from one of his experimental therapy sessions. Honestly, it never ends. Now he wants me to write up this week’s Love Gods problem. Well here it is:

Dear Love Gods,

Last Friday when I was leaving the house to go to a Tupperware party, my husband threatened to shoot me. Ever since he came back from the veterans’ hospital in a wheelchair he’s been bitter and suspicious. Whenever I put on make up to go out of the house he accuses me of cheating on him. “Ruby,” he moans, “Don’t take your love to town.” The other day when he thought I was out of the house I heard him say “if I could move I’d get my gun and put her in the ground.”

What should I do? I still love my husband and don’t want to leave him with nobody to take care of him, but I don’t want to get shot either.

Yours, Ruby.

If you want my opinion she should wheel him out into the street and leave him there with a cardboard sign around his neck: “Will threaten women for food and nappy changes”. But nobody ever asks me. So it’s over to the experts.

(Continued)

Last week’s Love Gods column was sadly blighted by the fact that our supplicant middle-aged lawyer  was a distinctly unsympathetic character.  This week it’s different.  Our plaintive female client is in a terrible pickle, albeit one involving a husbandly type presciently diagnosed last week by Dr Troppo.

Samantha Brett has fallen down on the job this week, however, and failed to post her weekly reader’s question.  Perhaps she’s still shagged out by the excesses of Valentine’s Day.  But never fear.  I’ve resorted to pillaging Kate de Brito’s Ask Bossy “blog” at Rupert’s place instead.  I assume she’s related to that moron Sam de Brito who conducts a “blog” at SMH, so she obviously knows a lot about forebearance if nothing else. 

Anyway, here’s this week’s reader’s letter (let’s call her Narelle):

I have been with my boyfriend for six months. A year ago he had a one night stand (with a condom). The girl got pregnant and kept the baby. He insisted that they take a DNA test, and it came out that he is the father of the baby. This woman is 23 years old, lives at home with her parents, has no job, is not going to school, never got her drivers license, does not have a car, or a bank account. She is very illogical and irrational, and he hates her (as do I).

He is being responsible and giving her money for the baby as well as spending time with his now 6 month old son. He still has to tell his own family about this (since he just found out 2 weeks ago). He is very stressed out, but determined to do the right thing. The babys mother is ok with his friends and family meeting the baby, but not I. I feel she is doing this just out of jealousy. She voiced her anger that he continued to date other women while she was pregnant, yet she was a one night stand!!!! Why wouldnt he date other women? He told her that too.

We love each other, and our relationship is great. We are really happy with each other. He really wants me to meet his son. He was saying that he will try to have me meet the son without her knowing, but I dont want to be hidden!!!! I feel angered by the fact that his friends and family will meet the baby before I will. I know she is just being spiteful. she sais she doesnt want the baby getting attached to me and being sad when we break up. I feel it is presumptuous of her to assume we will break up, and i dont think a 6 month old baby can get attached like that.

I want him to stand up to her, for me. I am so mad that she is trying to push me out of this.  What if when he brings her by to meet the family, I will be there, but he doesnt tell her until she gets there? What is she gonna do? I know she wont keep him from the baby, I know she probably wont even say anything. She never tells him anything when they are together with the baby, but as soon as he leaves she texts him about how shes mad over one thing or another, or she feels this, or she needs that. He does not pick up her phone calls, yet when they do speak on the phone, she is just as unconfrontational as she is in person. What should I do? Should I tell him how I feel? Should I wait and see what happens. I dont want this to be the reason we break up. I want to be ok with the whole situations, if Im not I owe it to him and myself to break up with him.

Also, when I meet the baby I want to love it because its his, not hate it because its hers. Please help me! My boyfriend is 24, I am 21. We really love each other, and I think the relationship has great long term potential, but this situations can make it or break it. 

Our Love Gods’ advice is over the fold, and you’re welcome to help too, in the comment box. (Continued)