Category Archives: Miscellaneous

The Mighty Railways of our Christian Queen

Posted on by
7

Some time ago a coworker of mine found a file on the train and gave it to me. A thick wad of papers detailing a conspiracy against all that was good in the world: The Queen, her constitution and her mighty railways….and the writer’s right to place her wheelie bin on the kerb. A few months later the same coworker found a similar file on the train. The writer is obviously keen to spread her message, so I feel I might oblige.

Click through for hi res

First up though is how striking the file is visually. It’s a brilliant work of mixed media, collage, found texts, vastly changing text sizes and styles and graphical work. As art it far surpasses the chaos of other celebrated efforts, such as The House of Leaves, except for the fact that this is entirely sincere. Within we have heavily annotated railway bulletins and photocopied history books, text spilling through all available space in the margins. We have text that rises and falls in size with her level of indignation; the largest word is “Fornication”. We have copies of all her correspondence to councils, to treasury, to the reserve bank and her applications for legal aid, the last of which contains a detailed exposition of the forces rallied against her. Any given page must also be read from multiple angles to capture all the thoughts she has crammed into every inch of paper.

The conspiracy itself can not be summarised easily, so here is an incomplete list of the antagonists named throughout the text – keeping in mind that terms are usually strung together:

Unions, Moslems, Catholic Universalism,  Nazis, the EEC, TV, environmentalists, masons, Europeans, Asians, “Bar mitzvah boys” and the “German Jew Master Race”, “Cain’s children in Japan”, Veolia (Cannix – nazis), gypsies, fenians, Miranda Divine (“the not so divine Miranda”), John “How-Hard”, the “Ruddy”, Buddhists, Hindus, racists, fascists, Marxists, Satanists, Hitlerists, socialists, modernists, feminists, humanists, hospitals, “internet winkypop Ency”. developers, Tories, Danes, Irish, Picts, Scots and Canaanites. Continue reading →

I guess the kids are different now

Posted on by
19

I’m not very old at all, but I’m old enough to have caught the tail end of a era in playground equipment design. This period was typified by danger. Metal slippery dips that one could cook an egg (or buttocks) on and which would hurl you far into the grass or merry go rounds that spun wildly and led to subsiduary entertainments like “find my finger”.

I understand why this period ended. Things like public liability and changing social preferences for non maimed children led to a new generation of equipment that was brightly coloured, plastic and devoid of risk. The most danger one faced was the risk of a static shock after edging slowly down a 1 metre slide. Very boring, and very explicable.

Now playground equipment tends to look like this.

This perplexes me.

I don’t find this very fun looking at all. I say that in the same way I don’t find it very erotic. It doesn’t seem to be something to which you would even consider applying the concept.

How on earth do you actually play on it? Is this the local council’s ultimate anti-litigation scheme whilst still fulfilling oublic expectations of playgrounds? If they create something on which no child will play, then no child will be injured playing on it.

Or have the internets and steroids in chicken and sex in music videos changed these kids in ways that even a young person cannot understand?

Clarke on Strine

Posted on by
16

In Nicholas’s thread below tigtog raised the topic of The Sounds of Aus, John Clarke’s documentary on the Aussie accent, written by Lawrie Zion. (Apparently there’s no web site, nor even a page on the ABC site). I enjoyed it too, but a few issues weren’t resolved to my satisfaction.

1. The program contended that the accent was invented by children of the first settlers. Their parents brought such a miscellany of regional dialects and accents, so the argument went, that none of these was able to assert itself; hence the kids basically started from scratch. Explicitly rejected was the established wisdom that our accent is rooted in cockney. I found that too strong a claim. Even if the basic theory is right, it still seems plausible that one accent would have predominated in the new fusion. Moreover, there is an undeniable resemblance to cockney — Americans always remark on it, and when they try to render an Aussie accent it usually comes out cockney. Continue reading →

Holden Efijay Production?

Posted on by
18

I remember as a young bloke reading an ad for a Holden FJ that was nearby for $3,000. I rang the seller and then jumped in the car to look at it. Unfortunately even back then three grand only bought you a rustbucket FJ that is up on blocks. I ended up buying a 1962 EJ Holden instead. So it was with interest when I saw Holden display a modern vision of the FJ in the Efijay that was put on a Chevrolet Corvette chassis.

The car picked up interest in the United States and was shown around the different motor shows and cruises/drive-ins. It seems that some wealthy folks want it, and want it bad. Autoblog writes:

It’s not uncommon for over enthusiastic gear heads to make offers or even send in checks to buy a concept car with the hope that production is right around the corner. General Motors has apparently already received interest for a production version of its heralded Holden Efijy concept from “Oil-rich sheiks, mega-millionaire British businessmen and even the brother of Russia’s president.”

Speculation is that some co-operative between Holden, HSV and Elfin will build it for a cool one million a pop. It is good to see innovative design and engineering be rewarded by the market. It will also be a headline car for Holden if it all goes ahead. Good stuff.

Ute Goes El Camino

Posted on by
11

There is speculation building that Holden is gearing up to full production in order to export the Ute to the United States.


    Holden Ute – Pontiac G8 Ute photochop by Aych Es Vee

The traditional Ute platform in the US has been the Chevrolet El Camino, but it appears that the Ute, if it does appear will be exported as either a Pontiac or a GMC. In brand terms Pontiac is supposed to be a down and dirty Detroit version of the BMW while GMC is a truck division – think SUVs. With Pontiac getting the Holden Commodore as the Pontiac G8 it is possible that the Ute will end up in that brand.

Either way, General Motors North America seems to like the niche products that Holden is putting out. It will be nice to see the Ute on American roads considering it was a Ford Australia invention in 1932.